Niece neglecting baby - Now What?

[linzs]

This is a bit long so please bear with me.

My Niece has been having lots of probs with her boyfriend over the last few weeks - history of violent behaviour has stabbed, hit, strangled her etc. and regularly spits in her face!!

She has had to move back in to the family home - as police are now involved and his family have began threatening her.

She has a baby who will be 1 very soon - problem is she has recently (Last week or so) been neglecting the baby and will no longer look after him, hold him, even look at him.

We are all besides ourselves and dont know what we can do to help her - the doctor thinks she is having a nervous breakdown - and is clearly ill.

We have all rallied around to look after the baby - he is the most gorgeous little thing - and we really do not want to see him taken away from her.

Has anyone ever seen this kind of neglect before? - she has coped so well up until now. She is only 18 and had been the most fab mum - we are so proud of her - We know she loves the baby so much and really need advice on ways to help her bond with him again.

For obvious reasons will also post this under mental Health.

thats terrible linzs very sad, she has suffered so does need the help, hopefully she ll get better in time.xx

if the family are caring for the baby then I do not think social services will need to be involved, if the family cannot care for the baby longer term then that is a different issue I think.

Thank you all for your replies.

In my opinion the doctor doesn't seem to be doing to much to help - gave her herbal version of valium last week and she is due to go back this afternoon. My DS is going with her and I have told her to be completely honest and tell him she needs more help!!

She got taken to hospital on Saturday in ambulance - had really gone hysterical - because she had found out he was seeing someone else and wanted to go sort her out!!

What we are finding so hard to believe is how much she still loves him and wants him after everything he has done to her.

I am not sure why she is rejecting baby at mo - sometimes she says if she cannot have boyf she doesnt want baby but then other times I am worried she is scared to be on her own with him. Boyf has told her that he is going to court on Thur and will be going to prison - Has now said he is going to kill her and baby before he goes down - so have wondered if she thinks he is safer with us - if that makes any sense.

Social services are already involved in case because of issues to do with boyf's family - we are a very close family and are all prepared to help out. But now my Sis and Mum are really worried that they will take baby away.

My Dh and I own our own business so he has been coming to work with us and playing on the office floor!! - He has had a great time (So has DH but he won't admit it)

Maybe she is rejecting the baby as he is the partner's son and a reminder of him, especially if he isn't right for her?

She needs a mental health assessment SOON. I would contact the GP and demand that he make a referral to the local mental health team. They can come and see her at home and do a full and thorough assessment of her needs as well as liasing with social services and supporting the family. They can also offer suggestions for medication etc.

Yes def needs a CPN which i a community psychiatric nurse, I had severe postnatal depression and ocd when bth my kids ere born, but last april around a mnth after my son was born I hd it much much worse, had t go t a +e t b sedated with valium etc....only reason I was not admitted is because it was a bank holiday, but took me mnths t get over, with anti depressants, occasional valium, support from my family as could not go near my son and a psychlogist who was an absolute godsend, sounds like a breakdown t me, goin on my own experience, pls let me know how she is, n to keep hr chin up, it is tough, believe me I know, and she will get there xxxxx