Scary cancer statistics - how to live with this fear?

[onyxtulip]

Read some scary statistics about increasing cancer rates in under 50s today. Stupidly asked ChatGPT my risk of dying from cancer under age 50 (as currently 35yr old female) and a bit horrified to find it was 1 in 200. Even more so when I asked risk for equivalent aged male and it was 1 in 400.

I have a sister with terminal cancer and 2 young children and have seen other cases of this in other young mothers in my professional circles.

How am I (we, women, anyone) meant to manage the profound anxiety of dying before my baby reaches adulthood?

My grandma died in her 90s with a very slow growing breast cancer. She didn’t die from it. She would be in the statistic. She had advanced dementia. She didn’t die from that either.

The risk of dying before 50, all causes is about 3% so you are statistically more likely to die of something other than cancer before 50 but still much more likely to survive.

After 50 the risk increases exponentially as you would expect. Unfortunately no one knows when they are going to die unless they have been given a terminal diagnosis. Even if you are diagnosed with cancer, the most common one in women is breast cancer, the chance of dying of breast cancer is decreasing year on year.

Im now a five year breast cancer survivor and hopefully if it does return I will be able to eke out a few more years with the ever growing available palliative drugs. My DSis was 33 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and lived a further 22 years with no recurrence. Unfortunately she died of an unrelated cancer ( she was tested for all the known genes but was negative). She was unlucky but on the other hand was lucky to have beaten breast cancer at such a young age.
We all have to die, it’s best to focus on today and enjoy it. No one is guaranteed tomorrow so there’s no point worrying about it. Statistically the total life risk of dying is 100%. Apply robust risk assessment to every activity and you should improve your odds of living a long happy life. The rest is just down to luck.

@Crwysmam “Statistically the total life risk of dying is 100%.”

Can’t stop death!

Roughly 1 in 2 people born in the UK will be diagnosed with some form of cancer during their lifetime, according to data from Cancer Research UK and the World Cancer Research Fund.

we manage the anxiety because it's preferable to the alternative.

say you were to be diagnosed yourself with terminal cancer at 42. would you think "thank goodness I have practised worrying about this for the past 7 years"?

(I write this as a woman in her 40s with a toddler only child and a partner with cancer, so I do understand how hard it is).

I understand, I hope you feel better soon.

I love statistics you can create havoc with them. But the one thing I learned that with health every statistic represents a real person. But in nearly every case of cancer it is the result of a random mutation. A mutation of one of your normally happy healthy cells making a mistake when it divides and replicates itself. We are made up of millions of cells and most of the time these cells are located and destroyed before they do any damage. We are also the result of millions of years of evolution that has improved our chances. Ironically it is our own interference with natural selection that has probably increased the risk of some conditions because we’ve kept many people alive who in a world without modern medicine wouldn’t have survived birth let alone childhood. So we have seriously messed with our own probabilities.

That will include benign tumours (ie they don't spread & only cause a problem if they press on a nearby structure), any skin cancer including very minor, easily removed ones like basal cell carcinoma (rodent ulcer), and early, easily treated cancer cells picked up on screening tests. It's not a very useful statistic and a bit dishonest when used by cancer charities (in my opinion).

Modern life doesn’t help as well. Diet and lifestyle play a major role in cancer risk.

According to the World Health Organisation and Cancer Research UK around 40% to 50% (and in some estimates up to 90% when including broader environmental factors) of cancer cases and deaths are linked to preventable lifestyle and environmental risks.

Breastfeeding provides significant protective benefits against certain cancers for mothers,
and long-term health advantages that can reduce cancer risks later in life for babies.

This statistic reflects the fact we are living longer lives. The risk increases with age. That’s different from saying it’s more prevalent.

How am I (we, women, anyone) meant to manage the profound anxiety of dying before my baby reaches adulthood?

I have a policy of not worrying about things I can't control. When I was young, we lived under constant threat of nuclear annihiliation. My president joked about it. We were annoyed at his flippancy rather than dwelled on fear.

I am not convinced that important cancer rates for under 50s have risen, actually. I do know that both survival and detection rates have soared in last few decades.

Someone could always be unlucky. Sorry to hear about your sister. x

@lljkk “I have a policy of not worrying about things I can't control.”

Same. “The goal of all life is death.”

You remain a healthy weight with low central adiposity, you don’t smoke, you don’t drink, you avoid smoked/preserved meats and eat a healthy, balanced diet. You exercise and regularly check your breasts and get your smear on schedule.

This will all reduce your risk and you’ll know you have done everything you can

My partner worries about this a lot as he has a very strong family history of aggressive prostate cancer - grandfather, father and uncle. His father has also had bowel cancer, diagnosed at stage 4 and was inoperable. Thankfully the tumour responded to treatment and he is in remission.

My dad is one of 5, his brother got blood cancer in his early 30s, he's been in remission since 2006, none of the others have had cancer. His mum smoked 60+ a day for 60 years and never got lung cancer although died from pancreatic cancer at 86.

My immediate family is much more prone to clots - my mum had a major stroke in her early 20s, my dad a mild stroke in his early 50s and my sister had a heart attack in her early 40s.

My partner does worry about cancer and I worry about strokes and heart attacks but we live for today, plan for the future in every way - looking at making prudent decisions now that will allow us to enjoy life and not be trapped in a work to survive cycle, not being so focused on planning for tomorrow that we don't sacrifice life today. We live healthily and are mindful of what we exposes our bodies too - mostly whole foods, no smoking, limited drinking, occasional ultra processed foods and so on.

The thing with cancer is not all tumours are equal. I do believe the 1 in 2 get cancer but that's not the same as 1 in 2 will die from cancer. There is a difference between someone getting a fast growing tumour in your 30s and 40s and someone getting a slow growing tumour in their 70s and 80s which may never become obvious. There are cancers which require no treatment at all, watch and wait and most probably something else will get you before the cancer does - this is particularly the case for some types of prostate cancer. It's not uncommon for autopsies on older people to show undiagnosed tumours that hasn't been impacting a person's life.

Its complicated and difficult for the brain to rationalise at times of stress. I would say for both myself and my partner we worry more about our family histories when there are other worries in our lives and for us it's a bit of barometer for our emotional health