Anyone recently started antidepressants and wants to chat/share progress and support

[Sleepy21]

I have posted a few times on MN about recently starting Sertraline, asking for others experiences - just wondered if, like me, there were any new/recent starters who wanted to just chat and post on their progress, challenges and good bits too! I find it really helpful rather than just thinking about it alone. Would love to connect with others who are still adjusting on any anti-depressant x

I wanted to join this. I am 3.5 weeks into 15mg Mirtazapine after a very sudden breakdown / burnout. My biggest issue is I am struggling to get any sleep which Mirt is supposed to treat. I have better days but some days like yesterday and thia morning that i feel worse than i did at the beginning. I don't have another doctor review until the 6 week point. I am trying to be patient but very worried about my lack of progress so far. Here's hoping for some more good days and nights. I am 43 and this is my first antidepressant.

How are you feeling today?

How is he feeling today? It's good that he can be so open with you about it.

Hang in there OP!

I have been on 50mg Sertraline for about 9 months now, I would say the first 2 months at least were a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions/mood. But it eventually evened out and I feel like a different person to this time last year…it has truly given me my joy back.

I have several friends and colleagues that are on it or have been on it and they all forewarned me that the first few months can be rough and that the transition wouldn’t be smooth, the GP also warned me that due to my anxiety being so debilitating that the first few weeks may bring incredibly low mood (which did happen)
luckily I knew it would likely be temporary while my body and brain chemistry adjusted so kept pushing on.

It saved my sanity. I still feel the anxiety but it’s manageable and not taking over my every waking moment, I’m generally very happy and joyful now.
Whereas previously I had been so incredibly anxious that it was actually starting to make me depressed and think some very dark thoughts, I didn’t go a single day without crying with fear and dread for months.

Thanks for asking @Midseptemberwoes
He had a goodish day yesterday. He spoke with his boss about relieving some work pressures and he ate better which is great. His sleep is still very poor which can’t help.

He had a therapy session today. He had been quite anxious about it because he was worried it would bring things to the surface that he isn’t in a strong enough state to handle. But it seemed to go well. Mindful CBT seems to be the route they’re going to take - to help him come up with strategies in self help. Back in two weeks.
It also pushed us to have a hard conversation about something we’d be discussing for the future, and I think he got some relief when all was in the open and a path forward was agreed.
It’s like walking on eggshells at times but ultimately I will do anything to make him feel stronger in himself again. I love him so much.

How are you doing since? Better I hope.

Welcome to all joining us.

Had my post-6 week review today and I’ve had my Sertraline increased from 50mg to 100mg. I’ll have to wait until my prescription is in to start the higher dose though as I don’t want to risk running out in case there’s a delay at the pharmacy.

Yesterday was a really bad day for me. I ended up not even falling asleep until 7am as I was just overthinking and upsetting myself over a few things. I hate that my irrational thoughts take over so much and thinking rationally never helps.

Thank you for asking @Midseptemberwoes . Following a really good evening, a well needed sleep and a positive morning yesterday I was feeling optimistic that I may be actually improving! However then yesterday evening and night were terrible, I had a horrible a anxiety feeling and didn't manage sleep at all. I think that now the sedative effect of the mirtazapine is wearing off, I am feeling all of the anxiety again.

Is it normal to be so up and down?

@Tarkan I hope you managed some sleep last night! It makes such a difference.

@OliveOyl321 glad to hear he has made some progress with work and eating. How is he feeling now after the counselling?

Sorry to hear about your bad day @Tarkan how was yesterday?

@HotRightNow9 the switch from optimistic to worse than ever is so hard. A lot of us seem to be experiencing that. I hope you can have a restful day, with not too much on.

Following last week, I am being seen by the crisis team. I'm off work for the week and they are visiting me every day. Today I dont feel depressed but I feel anxious. I also feel really silly and embarrassed for feeling the way I feel and for making people worry about me.

I had my counselling last night and I'm realising that there has been a huge amount of stressful situations over the last 7 years that I have dealt with alone. These times have caused me hurt and stress but I've put on a brave face and carried on.

Counselling is also helping me to see that I should have learnt coping techniques growing up. However, due to my role models behaviour, I did not learn these coping techniques.

Had a better time the last couple of days thankfully. Still having nightmares but they’re not the level of the night terrors I was having before so I’m usually able to get back to sleep after which does help. DH is having some issues at work so he’s really down with everything right now too and it’s hard to support him when I can barely support myself right now.

I’ve actually had a couple of friends check in with me over the last couple of days which has really helped too so hopefully going to plan to meet up with them soon.

I’m also at darts tonight, the winter league for us started last week but our team had a bye so tonight is our first night of the season and I’m looking forward to that. Summer league was harder for me, it’s mixed men and women and with much longer games so I just didn’t enjoy that like I do the ladies winter league.

It’s such an up and down process. If it were a physical illness it would be much more straightforward.
It probably a good thing you’re off work @Midseptemberwoes

Don’t feel embarrassed- it’s a natural thing, just in our makeup to be apologetic for needing support, but if you broke your leg you wouldn’t question having someone come in every day to help you. This should be the same. It’s because you’re in a vulnerable state of mind and you’re being too hard on yourself.

How did the darts go @Tarkan hope you were able to enjoy the evening.

How's DH @OliveOyl321

I feel a bit more fed up again today. I hate that it takes so long to get better.

I was playing in a doubles game, me and a really good player from our team against a friend of mine and the best player from the other team. And we won! I’m still buzzing from it as we were hitting fairly consistent numbers (around 40-50ish every time) then my teammate scored 164 leaving me just on 9. I normally SUCK at checkouts but I went up to the oche, hit a single 1 then a double 4 straight away. Normally once we are on a checkout it takes so many darts (I’ve seen games go to over 100 darts in total) so it was a huge shock that I just hit it like that. 🤣 Even the rest of the team sitting there were just like 😮 at how quickly we finished.

After the rest of my team left I was just finishing a drink when an old friend (and my youngest’s former Brownie leader) randomly came into the pub so we had a huge catch up and it was so lovely. I did make her feel old by saying my youngest is now 18 though LOL.

DH is off work today and we’re off to the football tonight. I think I’ll be totally peopled out after that though so it’ll be a quiet weekend and that’s when things can be worse for me. It’s a weird balance for me of needing to be social but then needing to recharge (and then overthinking every single thing I said to people and panicking it came across the wrong way).

I think we all need to remind ourselves of what @OliveOyl321says about the broken leg thing though. I have other invisible illnesses too and it’s hard when other people can’t see what we’re going through but it doesn’t mean it’s not just as valid as someone with a visible illness.

and hugs all around.

I feel like I've turned a corner. I have had ups and downs over the last few days but woke up this morning feeling like a completely different person. Hopefully it continues.

Grateful that I had the nurses to tell me that you get patches of feeling better and feeling worse before eventually having more good days than bad. I feel hope.

I'm trying to do as much as I can during my good moments and then I'm exhausted by 8.30pm every day.

Would like to join if that's OK, but I'm male so will understand if other posters would rather I didn't.

Started sertraline 50mg 15 days ago and right now I'm on a train going to visit family for first time in 2 years. Away from home for 2 nights! 😱

Still having a fairly patchy experience of the medication so far, but manageable side effects even though I had some pretty intense intrusive thoughts some days. They're improving as far as I can tell and on Sunday I had a pretty good day, was able to go clothes shopping and relax and concentrate enough to get some nice clobber. Haven't been able to do that for a long time, due to anxiety and depression.

Yesterday was up and down. I'm in therapy once a week and it's very unsettling most weeks. But I felt OK about other stuff I had to do throughout the day and managed to get packed and organised for today.

Took today's pill while I've been sitting on the train so I feel a bit tired but handling things without getting worked up. Feel sort of quiet inside, although a bit of me is anticipating the interactions with family from the moment I step out of the station and I'm just praying I can keep my head together 🙏

Hope others are adjusting to their new meds without too many horrible side effects 🤞

Welcome @baroqueandblue

@Midseptemberwoes- sounds like great nurses to tell you that about feeling better then worse for a bit as we all seem to have been going through that.

I finally started my higher dose today, I ran out yesterday so had to send DD to see if it had arrived (the pharmacy normally text when it’s ready but I hadn’t heard yet) so we’ll see how I get on with this.

I’ve signed myself up to a couple of things too so tomorrow I’m going to a menopause support group and then on Monday there was a cancer support group who started an 8 week mindfulness course. I missed the first one but they’re happy to have me attend the last 7 from Monday coming onwards so I hope they’re both things that will help. Even putting my name down for them is a big step compared to how I’ve been recently.

Thanks @Tarkan 🙂 Hope your dose increase isn't tough on you. Or, at least if it is, you feel it was worthwhile very soon. And best of luck at your menopause support group today, fingers crossed it feels welcoming and comfortable.

Yesterday was a lot easier than I'd feared it would be. I tend to avoid life a lot, including family, and forget they've all had struggles of their own. Even so, they'll still make an effort to see me when I roll up from time to time! And it was genuinely good to see them, not the empty social ritual I build it up to be in my head.

Feels like the AD is giving me a bit of perspective and easing some of the anxiety I usually feel about social interaction. It's what I've needed for a long time but found all sorts of excuses to deny and put off. And then the suffering finally got too much 🤷🏻‍♂️

And today is less busy, just one sibling left to catch up with briefly and then I get to go for a walk by the sea, which I'm desperate to do! And dinner in a place with a beautiful, inspiring view. Feels like my world is starting to open up a bit for the first time in ages.

They sound like very helpful groups @Tarkan, well done for making the decision to sign up and I hope they go well.

@baroqueandblue glad yesterday went better than expected and you are feeling like your world is starting to open up.

Fear stops me from doing a lot of things. We have a European city break this weekend that I didn't think I'd be able to go on. However I spoke to the therapist last night and she helped me break down my worries and realise most of my worries are within my control and it would not be as bad as I fear. As a result, we will be going. This is massive as I already cancelled another trip in June when I felt bad.

For anyone who needs to hear this because this really helped when the nurses told me daily: you will be ok. You will figure out the right medication and therapy and you will get better and be OK. It might take time to figure it out, but it can be done.

@Midseptemberwoes what jumps out from your post, for me, is how receptive you're being to your counselling. And it means you can allow yourself to take a risk on going away and having an important little break. After the last couple of weeks that's hopefully going to feel like something nice for you, a meaningful vote of confidence in yourself and your resilience. Sounds like it could be a breath of fresh air right now.

Just read what you were saying up thread about the deficit in coping techniques from your childhood. They're so important aren't they and if we don't get them it can significantly hold us back in life. Being around my family this last couple of days has been quite illuminating in that respect, thinking about how they cope differently to me in many ways but partly by ignoring important feelings, which I have never been able to do! On the other hand, I might have more of a relationship with/connection to some of my emotions, but I'm not great on the practical side, so they're more secure in life in that way than I am. Strange how these parts of life can get 'divided up' in families.

Yesterday was up and down for me. Some nice moments, but I was also aware of white-knuckling through anxiety at times and after a long chat with my mum in the evening I really had to process some old codependent guilt and attachment stuff before I finally managed to get to sleep. And I was awake just after 5 and I'm trying to keep anxiety at bay already! It has helped me to decide to increase to 100mg next week though. 50 isn't going to make me feel better enough. Good to know 😬

Wondering how Wednesday was for everyone else. I hope you're all managing OK 🤞

Hello All, hope you don’t mind me jumping on. I have started 10mg of citalopram yesterday. Felt a bit anxious last night. Only managed about 3 hours sleep as DD2 came and got into bed with us - wasn’t able to sleep much anyway. I started low with the view to increase at some point next week.

currently off work due to a burnout and seeing an awful incident at work. Mental health has been in decline for about 6 months and decided to give anti depressants a go.

@ThatAgileMintBiscuit hope you slept better and not getting any unmanageable side effects so far. Sounds like some of what you're dealing with might be post-traumatic impact on your mental health. I'm sorry your work exposed you to something that has left you feeling unwell, that must be very tough 💐

Came home yesterday. Got through the longish journey back OK and felt like I'd achieved something important by seeing family this week. I was open with them about the ADs. It's no skin off my nose and maybe it would help them to know if, for example, any of them were ever struggling with their mental health, that it's absolutely fine to tell someone and ask for support.

Noticing some low level but annoying side effects and hoping they'll pass! Still waking up too early but luckily I can nap in the afternoons at the moment if I need to.

Definitely getting less intrusive thoughts but when they do jump me I feel a bit of dismay and have to consciously try and squelch them. It's like a fear that they can still get through even though I'm taking the medication. But afterwards it's easier to switch off a bit more than usual and forget about them for a while, and my body feels a bit floaty and less tense and stressy because of the sertraline, which helps.

How is everyone after the weekend?

I'm having good days and bad days. I find the bad days so hard.

I’ve been up and down. I struggled after the menopause group. I thought we would just be listening to a talk but they did a mental health check in at the start and end so that was quite hard for me. I did know a couple of other women there though and everyone else seems really friendly so I will be back at least although next one is in a couple of months.

Today is the cancer mindfulness group and I’m starting to freak out a little as it’s a new building and the one friend I know who works at the group isn’t there on Mondays. Anxiety definitely isn’t at the same level it would have been before though.

Aside from that DH and I were at two funerals in a row on Friday so that was quite tough. First was his aunt’s brother (aunt married into the family but we live in the sort of place where everyone knows everyone else so we did know her family too). Then after that it was the lovely woman who ran our local pub. It was the sort of place where we were like a family all together, even if people weren’t drinking they were always welcome in for a tea or coffee or a soft drink. I mean she was the sort of woman who actually helped people to go teetotal despite the fact she ran a pub. Both wakes were at the same pub afterwards so we were able to spend some time with DH’s family before joining our pub family for the rest of the night.

Mostly my med increase does seem to be helping. Even when I think of things that were making me spiral badly before I’m able to push them out of my head a lot better than before. So hopefully as I continue on them things will keep on getting better.

The mental health check in sounds tough so massive well done for getting through it. Good luck for today.

Sorry to hear you had 2 funerals to go to.

I'm glad you can see some improvement.
Hopefully the good moments start stringing together for us and we start getting good days, then good weeks.

When I feel ok, there is such a massive improvement. Then when I feel bad, it's just so bad. I really struggle to have any motivation to work. I have just gone back today after 2 weeks off.

Another bad day for me.
Feeling so fed up.
If I wasn't working it would be more manageable. We need the money so I am working and doing a bad job at it.
Wfh, sitting at my office desk on my phone most of the time. Waiting for 8 hours to pass.
I used to have a career. Now I don't see a way back to where I was.
I just want to be who I used to be.
So fed up.

I’m so sorry @Midseptemberwoes

I think we all wish the same, wanting to be who we used to be and living in the past is one thing that’s affecting us so much.

I haven’t worked in a long time due to various issues and I know how hard the money stress is too. DH is providing for us all at the moment, eldest has a part time job and gives us a small amount of digs money but everything else has fallen on DH so he’s had to provide support both financially and practically through my illnesses and I know it’s really affecting him mentally too as bills just seem to keep rising constantly. It’s one reason I’m really trying to get myself back into a good place so I can start earning again even if it’s not a lot.