I suffer from very severe depression.
They've told me that according to their records I've tried every available antidepressant.
In April I saw a psychiatrist and asked for electro-convulsive therapy , which they rejected. I've tried to beat this depression with gym work, cycling and other exercise. None of it has worked. They told me to go to socials with other people struggling mentally and struggling with social isolation but my depression is just so deep that I don't want to be around other people , especially strangers .
I am now seriously planning my own s***e
I've told my closest relative that "I have to die". I suppose I should see a GP or ring NHS 111 but I'm not sure they'll help me. I'm struggling to leave the house during the day too. I absolutely cannot get out of this. I assume they'll continue to deny me electro convulsive therapy in which case I feel I have no choice but to delete myself.
The depression has become very extreme and frightening and I'm scared it'll turn into depressive psychosis. It's like they're waiting for me to get much worse before they help me. It has been a slow torturous descent into an extreme state and it's agony.
Does anyone have any experience of treatment resistant depression?