How can I stop being so useless and chaotic

[NeilTheSeal]

I will start by saying that I am currently waiting for an ADHD assessment, but the local provider I've been referred to currently has a 5+ year waiting list so it will be a while before medication is even an option

Does anyone else just find life and every day impossible? I struggle to stick to any routines or good habits. I eat all day. I'm always hungry. I'm about 6 stone overweight, every day I tell myself I need to change and it just doesn't happen. I start off well but then within a few days it all goes wrong as I can't stick to it

I don't do any exercise apart from walking my dog. I've got around 3 weeks in to C25k about 4 times but I find it so hard to actually make something in to a habit/routine so I just stop. The same with taking supplements and medication. I'm exhausted all the time and have low iron and B12, but I can't ever remember to take them. Even if I set reminders, I'll see it and think oh yes I need to take them and then I get distracted and still forget

I've got a stressful full time job which I just about manage to get through each day but I just feel like I'm empty all the time and not really getting any enjoyment from anything

I have had mental health issues most of my life due to issues from childhood which definitely doesn't help my mood. I've tried a few different anti depressants but I find that even if they make me feel a bit better they make the brain fog feel even worse and I feel even more like a zombie than usual

I don't even really know what I'm asking. I guess just has anyone else been similar and found ways of turning it round? The thought of feeling like this for the rest of my life just makes me sad

The good news is that you can follow a routine, when it is important to you.

Proof? You walk your dog every day. That's because you love your dog and know that exercise important for it's mental and physical health. I bet that if your dog was ill or needed a special diet you would do whatever necessary to make sure it was happy.

And then you describe yourself as useless...

Step one when it comes to making the effort required to inspire positive long-term changes is to offer yourself unconditional love and care. Nobody’s going to go the extra mile to improve the things they dislike about themselves, unless they love and value themselves as they are today.

Unfortunately this is often the hardest step to take. The idea of loving yourself before you make any changes seems alien. You're so used to judging yourself based on your perceived strengths and weaknesses that you already
hate yourself simply because there are things about you that you dislike.

However, when a mother is handed her newborn baby for the first time does she check to see what it looks like before she decides to love it? Does she see if it’s well-behaved before granting it any care? Does she reserve her affection until the baby has demonstrated certain positive qualities?

If she did, we might wonder what had gone wrong. The reality is that a mother (in the vast majority of cases) loves their baby without any conditions or hesitation. There is no qualitative judgement made first and there is nothing that the child could do to make the mother stop loving them.

It doesn’t matter how good you think you are or how bad you’ve been in the past. If you love yourself like a mother loves a child, you will care enough to take the steps to become who you truly want to be.

You have a job

You’re walking the dog

Excellent start.

From what you’ve said about C2 K, starting three times and not finishing, I feel like you’re very relatable to me. What happened? Did you lose momentum?

B12 and other vitamins really helped my brain. Can you put them next to your toothbrush to help you remember to take them?

don’t make big plans. Just try and sort out your routine for the vitamins first.

Please don’t call yourself useless. When your brain struggles with routines and getting started, even simple things can feel exhausting. I’d stop trying to change everything at once and pick one tiny habit to work on first. Small progress still counts.