Can't work, can't think straight

[Threadwworm]

Feeling more thanusually awful today becasue of a fairly minor bad incident that I don't want to go into. Problem is that feeling so shit, so self-hating, so anxious makes it inpossible to work. That's why I'm on this site too much.

How can I do it? How can I pull myself round. I've given up ADs becasue they don't change the negatibve thoughts and the lack of concentration, which are the worst things. But wqithout ADs the low mood, the tears, and the feeling of vertigo start to creep into the picture. Don't want to go back on drugs thatonly tackle the moods and not the thoughts. I was too disorganised to follow through a referral to psychiatric suppot and so now am ashamed to go back to GP.

Am starting on St Johns Wort. Does this do anything or is it just a placebo?

Is there anyone out there whjo is one seroxat now? I have used it a couple of times in the past. Found it better than most ADs for me. came offit for pregnancy, breastfeeding, then found a climate in which it is not readily prescribed.

Thinking of pushing my GP into prescibing it despite its occasional bad side effects in ssome people.

... no-one out there on seroxat? Just want to get a sense of how many people manage it without the episodes-of-insance suicidalness niggle.

Bump

Bump

grr just wrote excellent thing and have deleted it.

Thready it is gracepaley/tmd in new guise. You were lovely on my dds ocd thread and frequently make me pmsl on others. You are one of my favourite posters and I loathe to think of you feeling like this. It is simply not on.

So I hope you won the telephonic race and have yourself an appointment?

Have never had seroxat BUT

am having psychosynthesis which I feel might suit your philosophical mind
www.psychosynthesis.org/

www.hollandandbarrett.com/pages/product_detail.asp?pid=200
and someone on here recommended 5htp as above. I take it, not sure if it or the psychosynthesis are helping more but something is slowly shifting.

Swedes who said that about friendship being a mutual revelation of inadequacies? It is simply beautiful.

Grace, thanks very much for your thoughts. I really really hope that your daughter has managed to continue the improvements she seemed to be making when I last saw your thread. She and you both seemed so strong in the face of that horrible illness.

The 5-HTP does sound possibly helpful and I will ask GP if I can combine it with ADs -- I know I can't use St John's with ADs.

I did manage to get an appointment for this morning. (In your face, other poorly people!)

Psychosynthesis looks interesting. I'm surprised I haven't come across it before. I don't know that I could go for anything like that right now -- feel really only up to the sort of psychotherapy that is done with a baseball bat.

If I could only leave my thoughts aside to just get on with work I would be ok. But I have no concentration. Well, I suppose it is smallfry compared with the intrusive thoughts of ocd, though. I wonder how much of the mechanisms of ocd thoughts and depression thoughts are the same.

Anyway, thanks so much for posting. It means a lot to have friendly words on this subject.

no probs thready.

hope your appointment goes well.

www.amazon.co.uk/Sunbathing-Rain-Cheerful-About-Depression/dp/0007232802/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books& qid=1214809994&sr=8-1

this is a good book. I have leant it to a mate - this part of affluent sw london awash with thin, two-home owning, pooch walking depressives - but it's really good. If you can be arsed to read.

{hijack. my dd is MUCH better thank you. She is back. It is so marvellous and the recent past seems somewhat surreal and impossible.}

Yeh, concentration tell me about it. My productivity at work this year has been about 10%. Am clawing back now though, oh YEH. you seem sensible, am assuming you are not self medicating wildly with pinot?

Thready - Glad you got your appointment. Hope you are feeling a bit brighter today.

Iwishiwasnatasha - "Swedes who said that about friendship being a mutual revelation of inadequacies?" Me, I said that. So thank you!

swedes oh well I am going to steal it wholesale. I thought you were going to say Montaigne or something.

Thready - Are you OK?

Email me if you can. My email address was on Onebat's olive trees round robin (my initials CH).

Swedes, thanks for posting. I'm ok, a bit groggy (from starting ADs). I just have to hang in and finish a shedload of work that has built up while I've been failing to perform. If I can get over that, I have the summer without paid work and can hopefully get a bit more bouyant.

Sorry for having been such a misery on this thread.

Glad you are OK. Tsk for apologising.

I hope you manage to get your work finished.

Hi Threadworm

Hope you are feeling better. I just wanted to tell you I spent most of my adult life thinking I was depressed / mad / a moron. done the Seroxat. St Johns wort, you name it, worked for a while then back aquare 1.

Turns out it was just (a) anaemia, complicated by (b)low blood sugar.

(a) was diagnosed by doctor, iron tabs led to 30% improvement. Still take them on and off.

(b) took me at least 20 years to discover and accept, as didn't believe my shitty eating habits could make me insane. But they did, (and still do if I eat junk).

Not saying it cures everyone, but try it, you may be amazed, as I was! Although you will feel worse 1st week or so. And when you feel better you will go off it again, and suffer, and not believe its your food, etc, etc!

Books: Low Blood Sugar handbook by Ed Krimmel - read the list of symptoms and see if it's you! (Also the GI Diet books by Rick Gallop are good for ideas or recipes).

Good Luck with everything, I can relate to what you're going through.

Hugs
Gingan
xxx

Thanks gingan. I do see a lot of good sense in the GI thing, and I'm sure that eating well has a positive impact on my mood. I don't think it is the whole story for me, but it is still worth attending to.

Sorry that you went through a bad time. I'm glad things are better for you now.

Hi Threadworm,
I don't know if this helps but when I was at my very lowest if I could just force myself to do one single positive thing for myself (ie eat well) it made a difference, although it was a herculean effort at the time.
Good luck and as Churchill used to say: "KBO" (Keep Buggering On).
xxx

Thready

sorry have had crazy crazy week but have been thinking about you. So you are on ADs now. I really hope they help, and that your symptoms disappear soon.

Thanks v much iwishiwas. Hope your week was crazy in a good way. SO glad to read that your dd is so much better.

I'm ok. Seroxat a bit heavier in its side-effects than most ADs so am a bit spacey. But that will settle down soon I'm sure. Struggling a bit to get work and holiday preps done and will feel much better when those task s are behind me.

Swedes, thanks again for your kind words on this thread. Didn't like to inflict email on you, but the invitation to was much appreciated.

Threadwworm, Glad you are OK. Hope those side-effects settle down a bit soon. Iorek was looking for you on the Wankers' Corner thread.

Email me whenever you like. I'd love to hear from you.

Message withdrawn

Hi Christiana - I'm sorry I really don't know the answer to your Q. Perhaps ask your GP?

I hope you don't mind me reviving this thread my dear but I've only just seen it. I don't have any practical advice I'm afraid, but I just wanted to say that a lot of people on here are very fond of you (as much as you can be fond of an avatar), and I am one of them. I'm sorry you're feeling so shite and I hope the ADs do the business for you.

And also, isn't Swedes lovely (for a Tory).