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You can't help - I just need a friendly ear I guess.

199 replies

KateandtheGirls · 29/01/2005 01:07

As most of you are probably aware, my husband was killed on Sept 11 2001 at the World Trade Center.

I had come to terms (sort of) with the fact that my husband was murdered.

I had come to terms (sort of) with it being on our daughter's 2nd birthday.

I had come to terms (sort of) with being 11 weeks pregnant at the time, and our youngest daughter never knowing her father.

I had come to terms (sort of) with not having a body, or any "proof" that he was even in the building that day.

I had come to terms (sort of) with not knowing what happened to him and how he died.

I had come to terms (sort of) with the fact that he walked out of the door one morning to go to work and was never seen or heard from again.

I thought the hard part was over.

It's been almost 3 and a half years but it's still not over. A website was just launched which contains 8,000 photos recovered from the wreckage of the World Trade Center, for family members to look through and claim. I'm 600 photos in.

I know that my husband had at least one photo on his desk (of our daughter of course), possibly more. So of course I have to look through all the pictures. It's heartbreaking. Every picture is of a baby, or a smiling couple, or a bunch of people at a party, etc. And you just know that all the people in those photos are now orphans, widows, widowers, parents who have lost a child. And the photos, of course, are not all in great shape. You can see where they have been burned.

But every time I click the button to move on to the next picture I know that I could see my daughter's sweet, innocent face smiling at me, the way her father last saw her. Could anything be more depressing?

OP posts:
joash · 29/01/2005 01:08

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Tinker · 29/01/2005 01:10

. Don't know what to say Kate but I can understand exactly why you're doing it.

SueW · 29/01/2005 01:11

Oh Kate. I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) I have no idea what to say to you but I'd like you to know that I'm thinking of you right now.

essbee · 29/01/2005 01:11

Message withdrawn

Gwenick · 29/01/2005 01:11

oh Kate - bighugs - I'd picked up that your DH had died under tragic circumstances - hadn't realised it was due to the WTC

I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel, and what it must be like having to go through those pictures [flower icon]

CarrieG · 29/01/2005 01:12

So sorry . What an awful task....

stupidgirl · 29/01/2005 01:14

(((((hugs)))))

sallystrawberry · 29/01/2005 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colinsmommy · 29/01/2005 01:26

Kate-I wish I had the words to help, but you are right, nobody does. I just want to let you know that I really admire and respect your strength (even if you don't feel that way now). I read Jim's tribute page that was posted in Sept., and the love you had for him was apparent throughout. I was so moved I had to show it to my DH,and he said the same thing. Know that I am thinking of you, especially now.

serenity · 29/01/2005 01:41

Just wanted to add my love and sympathy

seriouslycelibate · 29/01/2005 02:06

Hi Kate..... I just dropped into the thread so I hope you don't mind me intruding.I lost my partner when I was much much younger,and although he died from illness,it was sudden and unexpected.I can't begin to imagine what the last years have been like for you,but I do know the pain and my heart goes out to you with a really big hug.

seriouslycelibate · 29/01/2005 02:11

I also lost my son from cot death at 8 months.It was 6 years ago in March.That brought a pain and anger I thought I'd never escape from.But gradually,and I mean gradually,the hole inside me has got smaller.If you ever need an understanding ear,I'm here.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 29/01/2005 07:24

Oh KATG, how awful, I'm sorry.

oops · 29/01/2005 07:35

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 29/01/2005 07:37

oh kate what a terrible thing for you to have to do. i cant imagine how you feel every time you click on another picture. you are so brave.

love to you and your girls. i knew from a previous thread about your dh, but not about it being the same day as your dd's birthday or you being pg at the time.

once again, you are so brave. my heart goes out to yu and your family

lots of love xxx

bobbybob · 29/01/2005 07:46

You are right, I can't think of anything more depressing. Take your time Kate, and I hope you do find something.

twiglett · 29/01/2005 07:53

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} Kate

No, I don't think anything could be more depressing and I am amazed at your strength and serenity

you will get through this too {{{{{{more hugs}}}}}

Peckarollover · 29/01/2005 07:56

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

I am humbled by what you have had to go through

Lots of love to you and your girls

Becca
x

misdee · 29/01/2005 07:59

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Beetroot · 29/01/2005 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LIZS · 29/01/2005 08:06

Kate, that is just so sad. Sending you {{{hugs}}} and the strength to get you through it.

winnie · 29/01/2005 08:27

Kate, I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your girls {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

sobernow · 29/01/2005 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth · 29/01/2005 08:49

(((((hugs))))))

miam · 29/01/2005 09:31

Kate, cannot imagine what you are still going through - you have shown incredible bravery. My heart goes out to you. Hugs. xxxxx