Seeing a therapist just because she makes me feel calm.

[ScaredButUnavoidable]

This may seem a bit odd….

This time last year I started seeing a private counsellor as I was going through a bit of a crisis with my narcissistic mother. She was wonderful, I saw her 2-3 times a week for about 4 months and she made a huge difference. Once the crisis was over and my life calmed down I stopped seeing her.

However, at the start of this year lots of little things started occurring in my life (health, family, work) that started to get on top of me and I felt myself getting overwhelmed and I asked to see her again because I worried that if things spiralled I would end up in a bad place.

So I started seeing her again 4 months ago and life is much calmer now, but I still enjoy going to see her. I have no major crisis, there’s nothing going on that I can’t handle but I find that being in her presence just grounds me and calms me in a way that I don’t otherwise have. It’s just an escape.

I see her about every 10 days, and even just walking into her consulting room makes me feel unburdened and sometimes I just sit there with my eyes closed for 5 minutes before even talking, just enjoying the silence and the feeling of calm and comfort that the environment brings.

We chat about what’s going on in my life, anything that’s worrying me or upsetting me, sometimes chatting about the now, sometimes chatting about the past, but it’s not like we are “working through something” like we were when I first sought out her services last year.

My friends think it’s really strange that I see a counsellor when there is nothing acutely “wrong” if that makes sense.

Does anyone else do this? I feel like she just keeps me calm and prevents my thoughts from bubbling over.

Sounds very healthy to me. Having a therapist is great, being able to tell a ‘friend’ all my worries without having to listen to all their woes back. Nipping issues in the bud before they bloom into bigger worries.

Counsellor. Personal Trainer. Hairdresser. Beautician. Doctor. The benefits of having someone's full attention on you is well understood, and sometimes paying for a service makes that a clear priority for the other person. The only difference is that with a counsellor you are being open about what you need, not expecting it as a fringe benefit of another service.

As long as you can afford it in terms of time and money there's no reason why you shouldn't continue. However I would suggest that your therapist should be working towards you understanding and managing your own thoughts and emotions so that, ultimately, you won't need her anymore. That's when you know the therapy has worked – and from a therapist's POV that's extraordinarily satisfying.

If OP was going 3x week before, I'd guess them psychoanalytic, so this will be appropriately subtle, but absolutely part of the work.

overall there is nothing wrong here. However, you need to work towards a life where you are not leaning on your therapist or depending on them. Take your time

This sounds very much like psychoanalysis, OP. Sounds like you have taken to it wonderfully. I’m glad to there you are finding something that works for you.