How do I work this out ?

[aqualibre55]

i feel.suicidal.that the world. Is the way it is. people are just always out to get what they can for.themselves and screw you over and i cant seem to get this feeling out of my mind. every single day someone i come into contact does something i wouldn't do to them , it might be small. Or large but it’s making me feel.suicidal. I live in London and I know that doesn’t help. A man have way to me on the stairs yesterday and it was the first selfless thing I’ve noticed anyone doing and it almost made me cry. I’m really easy to smile and respond and I try and be kind etc etc, I’m also not a pushover so it’s not that. I feel angry and despondent about it.

Have you seen a doctor?

You can talk to the Samaritans at any time 116 123.

Have a look at this article on 'glimmers' (you experienced one yesterday). When you start looking for them your brain will retrain itself to look for more of them and they will appear everywhere.

https://www.calm.com/blog/glimmers

Could you be depressed? Go to your GP and try to explain how you feel. They can assess you and maybe help you or help by referring you to someone you can. Or ring or go online to NHS 111 and explain. Are there any mental health drop in places near to you? Please don't suffer alone trying to get help.

Absolutely what other people said drs, meds, samaritans but also go on tiktok and type in random acts of kindness there are some Absolutely beautiful videos on there and you will see there is still a lot of good in the world

Oh god thank you. I’m trying not to cry now in the gym. Haven’t read it but this is exactly what I need. Thank you 😢

I knew the glimmers thing I don’t particularly like the samaratins, or the Samaritans isn’t for me. I don’t need another dead non-connection.

Yeah I do watch those videos and I like them a lot but it also depresses me that kindness has been literally commodified and is a form of monetised entertainment - and then people aren’t even nice in real life

Lots of people are nice in real life, especially if you are nice to them first. I don't mean being false or OTT but a small smile when you make eye contact will nearly always be reciprocated.