How can we best support our 25 year old son with anxiety and panic attacks

[Realhousewife1978]

My 25 year old son, is very over weight / with an obese bmi, and is struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, he is on sertraline.

He works full time and he booked a holiday abroad with friends but at the last minute decided he could not go as his anxiety was too much

the holiday was really expensive and looked amazing but he did not feel able to go - I am gutted he missed out and so worried as he must be feeling bad as he did not feel able to travel

His doctor has increased his sertraline dose and he has been able to book some counselling via his private healthcare at work

he’s now off work for 2 weeks - I am so worried - what can we do to help him ,?

he needs help to lose weight - he has done mountjaro a couple of times , the first time it worked , but the last time his took it - it did not make much difference

I think he is binge eating to help how he feels

I am so worried about him
any advice appreciated

Is he living with you?

He sounds in a really tough and negative cycle right now. But he’s doing well if he’s remaining at work and cooperating with his GP. I’d say be calm around him, offer to do nice things with him, support the counselling and take breaks yourself.

Thanks for your post

Yes he is still living at home, he is always so tired - and goes and sleeps when he gets in from work and then can’t sleep at night

he is always tired too. I just wish I knew what else we can do to help him

I try to stay calm and we are all supportive of him

I'd get the GP to test for iron & vit D & thyroid function.

Low iron & D can both cause panic attacks. You need ferritin 100 or more and transferrin saturation at least 20%.

Vitamin D should be well above 100nmol/L, preferably 150nmol/L.

I have a family member whose panic attacks were caused by both being low. Bloodwork showed low levels and supplements really helped. Good for improving fatigue too.

i would also keep an eye on his gut health - my DS was having panic attacks and unexpected anxiety when younger and some very good probiotics made such a difference they stopped . I still hide one of the pills in a homemade banana milkshake for him now and again now he's a teen. There is a strong link between the brain and the gut.

I really hope things improve

When/why did the anxiety, panic attacks and comfort eating begin? Finding, and dealing with, the root cause is always the best way of achieving lasting change.

Thanks for your posts

I will look into the vitamins/ probiotics

Hes always been a bit susceptible to anxiety

but the weight gain really started after Covid when he was a uni I think

then since he has had quite a pressured full time job I’ve noticed he really tired and has lost his spark , he’s been at his job for 9 months and has put on a lot of weight , he’s goes to sleep after he gets in every night which really is not good

if you ask him how he is he always says tired

I'm not saying this is it but gluten can cause anxiety. I'm not celiac but gluten intolerant and when I eat foods with gluten I get physiological symptoms of anxiety.

Doctors rarely take a holistic approach but the gut is extremely important and connected to mental health.

Too much inflammation can also lead to depression.

He needs to address this from all angles, but I know it's very hard to do when in a rut.

I feel for him and hope you find answers.

You sound like a wonderful mother. I have been where your son is but many years ago. The best thing to do is buy a book called SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES by Claire weekes. Follow what she says word for word and it will actually cure his panic attacks. It changed my life.

This needs to be your first step. From there, you can address his weight and tiredness. His nervous system is exhausted and requires regulation hence the extreme tiredness.

Good luck.

Thank you so much for your posts, that makes sense about the gluten relating to everything

I have also found that book ‘Self help for your nerves’ on Amazon and will order it for him today thank you

My daughter has panic disorder and is on sertraline. To get over her anxiety about travel I travelled with her. It was hard going but now we have done that she can travel independently and went to China on her own last year. It’s exposure therapy really. Build up bit by bit, try to break down the different triggers and work on them.

I'm so sorry you're both going through this. Anxiety is absolutely hideous and your son is lucky that you're so sympathetic.

I would advise this:

When he finishes work make him go on a walk with you, 20 minutes, every single day.

If you're in a position to do it, take him on holiday yourself, just for a few nights, somewhere in the car not too far.

Get him a counsellor if you have means.

Those are three baby steps I think would improve things quickly.