madamez, you stop this at once [stern voice]. You are one of my favourite posters, you give geunuine honest and well thought out advice to others. You clearly love your son with a passion. So you had some wine, so what, so you might have even taken your eye off the ball for a minute/hour/day? So what, you are a mum not a saint! Dont be so hard on yourself.
I would be stunned, gobsmacked and flabergasted if they gave you seroxat. It does have a bad reputation but they do still use it apparently. Alot of the side effects were due to its use in teenagers i think.
Going onto ADs is terrifying, scary and embarrasing, at first. But I am very good friends wiht mine now - they have made me able to cope. Yes i have bad days, i think you have talked me through several of them. No one with your empathy could possibly be a bad mother.
Talk to your doctor, see what they say, they wont force the ADs on you. They might even say they are not appropriate for you - but they might say, look, these will help, give them a try. You wouldnt hesitate if you were sitting there with a terrible backache.