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I am not right. How cn I get better.

43 replies

madamez · 24/06/2008 22:20

I am a bad person and a very bad parent.Shall i just send ds to his dad.

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 24/06/2008 23:10

madamez, of course you love your DS, you know that!!

Go to the doctors, don't punish yourself anymore.

All i can say is, ADs are not a miracle cure, but they HELP. They put you in a place where you can deal with the big stuff, and the little stuff. Interestingly, when i started i strongly remember my DP giving me a cuddle on day five saying, "ive got the old LEM back". So, yes, you will be you.

If you are prescribed SSRIs like citalopram or prozac, they are NOT mind altering drugs. They work by helping the body replenish its store of Seratonin and boost its production. This is the hormone that among other things, helps produce a sense of calm and feeling of happiness. It has been shown that seratonin is greatly reduced in people with depression and anxiety. So it definately helps with the physical cause/effect of depression. Not going to alter the way you think, but I find that it makes the negativity less crippling and that i can have a day

madamez · 24/06/2008 23:18

i am afraid. i am afrai because i know that seroxat just messes up your liverand dosent work. I am afraidbecause of having been bad neglectful mum at the wweekend . we went to a party and i was not lookoin after ds and i had some wine and was not loooking after him enogh

OP posts:
notjustmom · 24/06/2008 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucyellensmum · 24/06/2008 23:32

madamez, you stop this at once [stern voice]. You are one of my favourite posters, you give geunuine honest and well thought out advice to others. You clearly love your son with a passion. So you had some wine, so what, so you might have even taken your eye off the ball for a minute/hour/day? So what, you are a mum not a saint! Dont be so hard on yourself.

I would be stunned, gobsmacked and flabergasted if they gave you seroxat. It does have a bad reputation but they do still use it apparently. Alot of the side effects were due to its use in teenagers i think.

Going onto ADs is terrifying, scary and embarrasing, at first. But I am very good friends wiht mine now - they have made me able to cope. Yes i have bad days, i think you have talked me through several of them. No one with your empathy could possibly be a bad mother.

Talk to your doctor, see what they say, they wont force the ADs on you. They might even say they are not appropriate for you - but they might say, look, these will help, give them a try. You wouldnt hesitate if you were sitting there with a terrible backache.

madamez · 24/06/2008 23:37

My DOCTOR will be ashame d of me. Not just my mum and my DS dad and all my firend bu doctor will be ahsamed of me and i dont thin it wil work anyway.

I think the only thing that will fix me anyway isnot pills. I have to do really bad scary scary awuful i have ot traack bbirth parents. i dont think i will be rith util i have tracke birht parents and i am so afraid.

OP posts:
notjustmom · 24/06/2008 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Monkeytrousers · 24/06/2008 23:53

Hiya Madame - your old sparing aprtner here

If you are really dounting yourselfr then go talk to your GP. If you are worried you rtemper is expressing itself too physically then do the same and also use parentline (haven't used ti yet but have made a mental note to do so whenever I feel mysefl runnig out of options)

Love of your DS has nothing to do with it; it's self love and self eteem - I know you know what I'm talking abotu and I'm not goinmg to ask you to pull youirself together in a genyuine crisis cos it woul dbe better fopr MN if you did.

Spill.

What is MN for but character building? Its done wonders for me x

Monkeytrousers · 24/06/2008 23:54

Tell me you haven;t shagged your GP!

JeremyVile · 24/06/2008 23:59

Oh Madamez, how sad.

You love your son. You know that, he knows that.

We all go through shitty phases, we all worry that we're not doing right by our kids sometimes.

You have some good advice here.

Chin up. Tomorrow is a clean, fresh day.

madamez · 25/06/2008 00:18

I know DS is ok with me an dI wont hurt him. i felt bd about the mark on his amr but i konw tat was cos i pulled h away out of the road. i am not goong to b riight till i9 do the tracng .

I am not going to b right tll i do the tracing finding.
i am so afraid of doing it
i have tod do it
i am so afraid

OP posts:
Monkeytrousers · 25/06/2008 00:23

I will read thread tomorrow tro see that you mean re tracing finding

But geberally afraid is good, it's what maeks us do things right. No fear is more scary! Now get some quality sleep FGS!

Tortington · 25/06/2008 01:12

am sure you're a great mum. lay off yourself a bit

greenelizabeth · 25/06/2008 09:15

Seroxat is not the only anti depressant. Lustral is an ssri. Probably the same thing but a rose by any other name!!

Also, I think you are well enough tuned in to your emotions to know if a drug was altering you to the point where you might do something insane. DOn't worry about that please.

I have days where I just feel like I'm going through the motions with my DC! in particular. I love her because she is my child, but sometimes I find her boring, argumentative, boisterous, unco-operative. And that can make you see red at times. I have had my moments.

Is your son at school yet? Do you have any time to yourself when you're not working?

lucyellensmum · 25/06/2008 09:23

I would be bloody terrified too. The difference between you and me is that you have balls and i don't because you are doing it. It is a HUGE thing and bound to make you scared. I do worry that you don't like yourself just now, but i reckon all you are feeling is normal tbh.

If you are dubious of the ADs then how about some herbal remedies. Im never without my rescue remedy. It is a total placebo effect but just the action of squeezig a bit of the stuff onto my tongue calms me down when things get fraught or am nervous about something. It got me on a plane when i absolutely do not do flying. I was relatively calm. On the return flight i had lost my rescue remedy, i was almost hysterical - all in my mind of course, but we all know that is a powerful thing.

Baby steps and good luck with the search. Could you maybe take an emotional step back and pretend that you are searching for a friend or for work? Just the practicalities, it might help you to focus rather than worrying about the emotional fall out. That will be there of course it will but block it out for now, just do the practical stuff. Are you getting help with this? I mean, i wouldnt know where to start.

I wish you the best of luck, i know you are a strong lady and the sort of person i would like to be friends with (cos you are THE most broad minded and funny person on here!) you need to be kind to yourself.

I bet your son thinks your the mutts nuts too

lucyellensmum · 25/06/2008 09:27

that is a good point about the seroxat liz. Citalopram is in the same family of drugs, however the side effects are less/different because it acts on different receptors (i think). There is no way on Gods earth i would take seroxat, just because of the negative connotations, but i am quite happy to be on citalopram - it makes me me

madamez · 26/06/2008 23:45

While feeling better in some ways ATM I am still wondering: are there drugs that can take the edge off constantly feeling scared/worried/queasy with irrational terrors? Each time I deal with one source of panic, the panic ebbs, then comes back and stays....

OP posts:
littlewoman · 27/06/2008 00:07

Yes, Madamez, there are drugs that deal with anxiety particularly and which you take when you feel a bit of an attack coming on (so you take them as and when you need them). Otherwise, some drugs, like Citalopram, you take every day and they deal with depression and anxiety at the same time, I think.

I hope you feel better. So many people on here do have a high opinion of you for your honesty and straightforwardness. Just wanted you to know that.

lucyellensmum · 27/06/2008 20:56

HIJACK - littlewoman, which drugs are these, i have just been prescribed buspar to take on occasions of extreme anxiety (ive lost the fecking prescription which is shit, cos i feel awful just now).

Madamez i hope you are feeling better, i can soooo empathise with what you are going through, cos im there rightnow, and im shitting my pants

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