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Mental health

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I've felt numb for as long as I can remember

8 replies

numb1 · 22/06/2026 12:06

As a child I remember feeling really sad most of the time. As an adult I'm just consistently numb, it feels like I watching my life happen and having to force myself to engage with the basics of going to work, eating, housework etc. I have no desire or interest in doing any of the things which most people would consider to be the fun parts of life going on holidays etc. I don't think it's depression as it's not a phase where I feel sad for a while but have periods where I feel better.

I don't have friends as I give off an awkward vibe of being uncomfortable in my own skin and of course noone wants to be friends with someone who seems sad all the time. I have a partner, but we're more like room mates. I don't want a romantic relationship and he says he's happy with how things are. We're in the process of trying to move house, but I hate the upheaval of having to show people my house, then there's the stress of trying to find somewhere to move to. I just don't care enough about it, I'm not excited by the idea of moving to a 'better' house. I've reached the point where I've had enough, the effort to reward of being alive is too high. If I knew I could die and not have to worry messing it up and causing myself brain damage but still surviving I would do it without a second thought.

OP posts:
PurpleLovecats · 22/06/2026 12:11

You sound very depressed, have you spoken to your GP? Thought about medication?

numb1 · 22/06/2026 12:40

At various points I've been on fluoxetine, citalapram and mirtazapine. I've stuck with them for months and fluoxetine I was on for a couple of years, with various changes to the dosage. I don't sleep well in general and I was sleeping even less when I took SSRIs. I ended up burning out quite badly after the 2 years on fluoxetine. I came off them and ended up having to quit my job as all I could do was sleep for several months.

The GP just suggests trying them again because they help most people and can't understand why mirtazapine didn't help me sleep. I don't want to end up burning out again. I don't think they'll put me on medication which isn't an SSRI as I've asked about that before. One of the more helpful GPs did refer me to a psychiatrist who saw me for 5 minutes and told me I'm too high functioning and not a danger to other people, so I didn't meet the criteria for help. He did mention I likely have a personality disorder, but didn't elaborate.

I did CBT about 15 years ago. It helped with structuring my days so I don't end up bed rotting, but I'm self aware enough to know how to not think negatively and recognise when I am doing it. I catch myself and reframe my thoughts, but doesn't translate to making me feel better about life

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 22/06/2026 13:17

What was your childhood like? Good? Bad? Children absorb everything around them uncritically so that's possibly where your (lack of) feeling began.

numb1 · 22/06/2026 13:47

Childhood is almost certainly where the lack of feeling originated. My parents were very emotionally distant and my older brother used to beat me on a daily basis.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 22/06/2026 14:00

numb1 · 22/06/2026 13:47

Childhood is almost certainly where the lack of feeling originated. My parents were very emotionally distant and my older brother used to beat me on a daily basis.

I'm sorry. Have you had any therapy or counselling to deal with your childhood?

These videos might help you understand why you are the way you are;

s
s

It IS possible to change these beliefs; any thought patterns can be changed.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=171s&v=ARqB_fbznoo

numb1 · 22/06/2026 14:46

Thanks. I understand the theory but am so exhausted from the effort required to constantly check my beliefs system. I left home 20 years ago and I've known from that point none of my childhood was my fault and my parents were likely only repeating patterns of behaviours learnt from their parents. I think 20 years is a long time to have tried to find life enjoyable, but I just don't. I'm fortunate enough that I'm financially secure enough that I could take time to go travelling or do pretty much anything I want, but there's nothing I want to do.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 22/06/2026 16:07

Understanding the theory on a conscious level is good, but if you're having to 'constantly check' your beliefs system means that your subconscious hasn't got the message yet. Spookily I'm editing a video this afternoon that could have been made just for you, if you want a sneak preview get in touch.

Paperplanes33 · 22/06/2026 21:47

If you can afford it I would highly recommend a psychologist who uses EMDR. It's really helped me with childhood trauma

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