hi anx. i dont have an office, thats what we affectionatly call it but when i said in my post "the pantry" thats actually exactly what it is! my "office" at present is full of papers for the tribunal i am taking my ex employers to. (i cant beleive how many papers there are...big pile). i dont work right now..i havent since they dismissed me on mat leave last year (but thats another story)!
mine is one of the unmodernised houses in my street (mostly council, or bought from). so where lots of the other houses have great potential, mine is lacking somewhat compared to the others! they all had the pantry (in the lounge) blocked up and turned into a downstairs loo and porch with back door, accessible from the kitchen and the other porch knocked out to make a large kitchen. i still have mine, a kitchen just big enough to swing a mouse and this very cold little pantry that i made into my "office". its about 5ft by 3ft and under the stairs so imagine an understairs cupboard and thats where i am! i dont have a bathroom upstairs really, a room with just a bath, no sink, no toilet (toilet is where bigger kitchen would be). we brush our teeth and wash our faces over the bath here but you get used to it lol! it used to really bother me that my neighbour was given a lovely modernised house and i was given a virtual wreck. especially when i was spending spare money to try and make mine nice and she spends hers on beer when shes so lucky to get the house she did and doesnt bother with it. but thinking about it, well an old person lived here several tenants before me (strangely no-one has stayed here long) i cant blame an old person for not wanting modernisation, being moved out and back in, i wouldnt want that either at that age. when i got this house i waited years for them to sort out the damp even though i reported it when i took on the tenancy, years for central heating, years for new windows instead of the draughty metal ones and i only got these things because of my son's asthma. i had to take this house as it was this or a high rise flat in the worst area around here filled with druggies and such like. i had this house for two months before it was decent enough to move in, thats not an especially long time but im not kidding when i say it was a struggle at first. i was working 9am-6pm five days a week, (paying a mortgage and bills on one house, rent and bills on another), going back to my own house, getting changed and bringing my (then) three year old here with a chip shop tea. i would then decorate until 10pm, walk back home, put him to bed, do my own tea (or sometimes not bothering with tea), do my housework and have a bath, getting to bed around 1am just to do it all again the next day. the only help i had was my bf, for a couple of hours one day a week. that was it. i finally broke down one day at work..i could hardly keep my eyes open. people kept promising to help and never turning up. after the two months it wasnt finished but i moved in as i couldnt stand it anymore. so you see, like i say, it isnt a palace by any means, but compared to before its fine. if anyone dares to say anything to me about it they usually get a mouthfull. im proud of what i did here and sod anyone who doesnt like it now because i did it all myself for 4 1/2 years and i know im lucky to even get a council house when there are so many people on the waiting list. i was going to buy the house last year but then i was made redundant (if thats what they call it, i prefer unfair dismissal) so that all went pear shaped. i will buy it though. im splitting my bedroom in two this year (well i never planned on our new arrival and need another bedroom now!) my next door neighbour who owns her house kindly let me have a look at how they turned theirs into a three bedroomed, the room is small but adequate, ive seen smaller rooms (one being in that beautiful house i mentioned earlier in the thread) so we will do just fine. then maybe in a few years i can sell up and move somewhere bigger. i think perhaps thats the only plan i have! i would love you to see the "before" photos i took of my house, im sure they would make you feel better.
as a final thought, as a child i was always so much happier in my friends' houses when they were disorganised and no-where near perfect, because thats what i saw as a family home. you could sit yourself down and not worry about wrinkling the sofa throw, kicking up the rug or dropping a few biscuit crumbs. it always felt so warm and welcoming. i stayed at my then best friend's house often and slept on a little fold out foam thing next to her bed. the house was so cluttered and at times very messy but they are the best memories i have. it never mattered what their house looked like because we were all loved (my friend's mum used to and still does call me her "adopted daughter"). their bathroom didnt have a lock, the shower curtain was wonky and the soap was always little bits squashed together, the kitchen was crammed full of things, recipy books and jars of herbs everywhere, the bedrooms...well i dont know what colour the carpet was as we couldnt see it underneath the toys, the fence outside had chalk marks all over it, you couldnt walk around the lounge because they had furniture too big, too much of it, the coffee table always overflowed with magazines...but all these things i remember with affection.
ive written an essay again, sorry if its really boring...i was on a roll!! hope youre feeling better today xx