Struggling with guilt after abortion linked to anxiety and depression

[Harriwren]

This is a difficult post to write - and apologies if it’s not in the correct sub. I had my second abortion two days ago at 9 weeks after being in complete turmoil after struggling with anxiety and depression. I wanted the baby, but as soon as the hormones (and constant nausea) kicked in, darkness descended and I couldn’t think straight and panicked in the worse possible way. The same thing happened last year, so it feels completely unforgivable and beyond painful. I’m pro choice, but never thought I’d find myself in this position as I have a lovely caring long-term partner who very much wanted this baby and is a great and very hands on equal parent to our 5 year old. I’m devastated I didn’t seek help for my mental health straight away and can’t see how I’ll ever get past this. Sadly, due to being older, this was also my last chance and to honest, I don’t deserve another chance.

I'm so sorry that sounds like such a tough situation to be in. I'm a fellow depressed anxious human and know how tough it can be.

Could you seek some therapy to help you talk it through? It sounds like it could really help you l.

Please be kind to yourself, you've been through and are still going through a lot

Thanks for your kind message @Parrotsandpineapples this weekend has been very draining emotionally and physically. I plan to seek counselling asap. I’ve always been an anxious person, but pregnancy has taken it to another level.

Want to talk about it? I'm happy to listen if you do.

Anxiety is awful, and likes to rear it's ugly head at the hardest of times