Cptsd- do people pick on you more if you are traumatised? How to stop it?

[malificent7]

I think i have cptsd...violent abusive mum. A significant boyfriend in my youth was very abusive towards me...i got even more ill.
I am sure he was a narcasist who preyed on my vulnerability ( or weaknesses as he called rhem.)
I went off the rails for ages ( drink, sex...just being a bit weird).
Finally settled with lovely, amazing dh, wonderful dd ( not his) and steady job but feel so ashamed of my past.
I am trying to find emdr councellor as it worked in the past.
Along the way I have been picked on at school and work. Luckily at the age of 48 i feel i am not currently being picked on alrhough it is a toxic department at times. Good job i love what i do.
I am trying to excersise self compassion...do you think that others sense vulnerability and exploit it?
I hope that if i heal i can stop this happening in the future.
Most of all i feel sorry for dd. She is turning out wonderful and we get on well most of the time but she notices my dissociation. I hope i havnt damaged her.
In her early childhood i was very unsettled.

Most people are completely unaware of what's going on with other people; there's a Youtube clip of a weather presenter abruptly walking off the set saying that he was having a panic attack – no one had noticed anything.

PTSD is your mind trying to understand what happened in the past for the express reason of avoiding that threat in the future. It doesn't realise that it can 'stand down' because that threat has gone. EMDR and remedial hypnosis (which is what I do) are both excelling at resolving trauma.

Yes, I believe so. I was reading about the commonalities shared by children of narcissistic parents the other day - empathy, an overarching desire for fairness, people pleading tendencies - traits which as an adult, will mark you out for bullying behaviours. Others are able to sniff out your vulnerabilities and exploit them. I don't know how to be any different, truthfully I don't even know who I am due to enduring abuse, so how to stop similar patterns from developing, I haven't a clue. I try to make myself as small and invisible as possible, but it's no way to live waiting for the next bullet to be fired your way. Thankfully, I have one amazing friend who is happy for me to be just me and is my source of solace and calm in an often frightening and overwhelming world.