How do I tell my dh?

[naswm]

Okay so he knows some things, but he doesnt know everything.

Today I have had another failed attempt at getting help. I told him about the appt and he asked how I had got on this evening. I just wish I could be totally honest with him, but I cant. And I know that is wrong. But I am protecting him. He is sick and we have so many other problems to deal with he doesnt need to be worrying about me on top of everythign else. But:

He doesnt know how bad my addictions are
He doesnt know I was sexually abused as a child
He doesnt know I am suicidal
He doesnt know how selfish I am

I feel so alone, and so trapped

naswm - my thoughts are with you.

It has been suggested you could write him a letter, it might be a start? I recently got the guts to open up more to my dh and it helped (be prepared though for some shock from dh!! I took it as rejection etc, everything negative, but on reflection he was just processing the things I had said.

My dh has always been quite supportive, though his ideas of support haven't always been the best ways of dealing with things.. but really talking and talking can help things. We actually saw someone years ago and she suggested we split up, we were both so horrified by her words, it actually got us working together and more effectively!!

It's not easy I know, but I wanted you to know you are thought of, btw.. I used the email for samaritans recently.. what a sense of relief they can offer.. I hope things can turn around for you.

thinking of you today