Health anxiety

[Dbrea]

My health anxiety is ruining my life. I'm not living im just existing thinking at every turn I have some terrible disease. I have lost 8 stone in weight (on purpose) and my worry now is my breasts.. I have gone down a few cup sizes. I've always had big boobs but now I've lost weight I'm just noticing little divots and dents and every angle in my breast tissue no lumps or anything like that just gaps.. I cannot book in cuz I'm terrified of the doctors.. no real point to this post I just need to let it out!.

Well done on your weight loss – that's amazing! Thing is, every part of your body will be different now, from your face to your feet but you are focussing on your breasts because they are, well, the first thing you see.

Why are you scared of doctors? Have you, or someone close to you, had a bad experience? When did you become aware that you are anxious about your health? The likelihood is that there is nothing wrong but the only person who can tell you definitively is a medical professional.

Thank you so much for your reply. I have gotten worse the last 5 years. Long story so if you make it to the end thank you 😂.. so about 5 years ago I had a massive lump come up on my neck.. it was during COVID so all over zoom appointments.. booked in right away and he sent me for blood tests straightaway.. this was at 9am.. I had a text message to say we have the results were back and can you ring and make an appointment for tomorrow to discuss this was only 3 hours after my blood test.. so was already anxious because the test results came back so fast.. anyway rang up and booked in and I asked receptionist to read my results she said I can literally read it but I don't understand it.. anyway there was a high protein of sorts in my blood and what did I do.. googled it. Everything flashed up from heart disease to cancer... So I spend the next 24 hours crying my eyes out my husband had to come come cuz I couldn't look after my children I could eat or sleep honestly thought I was dying.. the next morning I got the phonecall from the doctor who proceeded to tell me I was about to very I'll cuz I had glandular fever 🤦🏼‍♀️.. all that worrying for nothing.. well not nothing I was very poorly and in bed for 3 weeks but that 24 hours on thinking the worse completely destroyed me and ever since then I've health anxiety. I know I sound absolutely nuts. And thank you if you got this far ✨✨

That wasn't that long 😉

I can imagine that time was incredibly stressful for you but if you can look at it objectively (rather than emotionally) you had a problem five years ago which was investigated and an answer provided within 24 hours. By any measure that's impressive.

Why do you think it had such a dramatic effect on you then and is still affecting you today? How was illness treated by your parents/grandparents when you were growing up?

No such thing as Illness 😂.. my parents are hard working people and Ive never known them to have a day off sick for themselves or really me or my siblings. We had to go school regardless unless it was really really obvious like sickness or whatever. I don't know why I've closed down much on my health. I just cannot get myself to go to the doctors... I also know if it's to do with breasts they usually stick you on a two week pathway and It scares me to think how I was 5 years ago for 24 hours waiting for my results how the hell will I be for two weeks for a scan or whatever 🤦🏼‍♀️.. I'm just a broken mess that can't be fixed I think 😂

I'm just a broken mess that can't be fixed I think

No you're not and yes you can 😊 Look at what you've achieved with an 8st weight loss; if that's your idea of broken then fixed you is going to be fucking awesome!

Assuming you are 35 (educated guess) your statistical chance of dying at this age is 0.001209 and your estimated life span is a further 47.34 years. That is a tiny, tiny number and a very long time to spend worrying about it.

Would you consider talking to your doctor about CBT to tackle the health anxiety? (And throwing in a casual "while I'm here can you have a look at my tits please?"!)

Wow that was a good guess I'm 34 😂 yes it was time to sort my life out little with the weight I want to be healthy for my kids and I thought losing the weight would help my anxiety around health as I don't drink or smoke it was literally just the weight but it's not really helped at all.. if anything it's made it alot worse 🤦🏼‍♀️..I would love some sort of therapy for it but didn't know this is something you could get on the NHS. I will have to have a little look. I have to do something I can't go on like this. 1st step getting through the doors at doctors. I was thinking about going back onto my anti depressants to see if that helped.. again I stopped these thinking the weightloss would solve that.. wrong 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Emotions, such as anxiety, are not rational so just because you are healthier it doesn't follow that you are going to stop being worried about your health. There's a lot of information about the conscious/subconscious mind on my AMA about remedial hypnosis.

BTW, a small tip – if you take ownership of something in the way you talk or think about it (MY health anxiety/MY anti depressants) you are less likely to want to lose them. Try using 'the' instead of 'my' to put some distance between who you are and this temporary issue.

I cannot thank you enough for replying today I really appreciate the time you have taken. I felt very lost this morning and now not so much and thats down to you ❤️.. you are right I do need to look at something. I can't go on like this like I said before I don't feel like I'm living at all. So I will look into some therapy. I did look a while back for private and it was very eye watering but maybe it will be worth it

I had a similar issue. Sertraline changed my life.

I used to take sertraline and thought I knew better and came off it. But I'm thinking now it's time go back on! Did you suffer with health anxiety?

i was coming to respond to the OP and saw your response.
My health anxiety fluctuates and is more or less helped by HRT - it s not grrat at the moment, and i ve been considering the unopened box of sertraline in my medicine cabinet...

did it work fast for you without side effects @BoredZelda ?

Hi OP. I could have written your post. My health anxiety started after 2 years of glandular fever aged 16. I put up with intrusive thoughts until my 40s and then went on sertraline. Therapy helps to a point but the sertraline was hands down the best treatment. Get back on it would be my advice. Ive come off as well and managed 6 months but then I have to go to the drs, as we do in life, and the anxiety is just too high. Better than it was but I do.still need that support.

I decided to start again this afternoon.. and got a prescription in for some more... That is interesting that you had glandular fever too.. do you think there could be a connection? I feel like I'm going mad sometimes I really do. But I'm hoping as I get the sertraline back into my system I can work up the courage to get into the GP with things that are concerning me ATM. Thank you much for your reply.

It's hard to say @Dbrea because i was so young and it was a bit of a traumatic time with my dad leaving, GCSEs and caring for an agoraphobic mother. But yeah, I think i lost faith in my body, my ability to be well and it made me super vigilant. I remember in my 20s I'd take ages in the shower checking my breasts over and over. I'd be late for work sometimes. I was especially frightened of BC as my BFs mum died of that at the time I fell ill and it just stuck with me.

I think we have to remember that we literally catastrophise and look at everything like its under a microscope. What's an indent to everyone else, and what is actually an indent, is a red flag to you. Im the same now with my mole checking. It's exhausting and I feel for you. Definitely get things checked but understand we have our own version of body dysmorphia when it comes to health.

@Hillsmakeyoustrongthank you for your reply. I just cannot get myself to go to the doctor's.. literally terrifying! I'm going to give it a few weeks with the sertraline and then see if I can get in. Hate being this way. I feel like I'm not living.

No. It sucks all the joy out of life. I do understand. Could you just about manage to go to the Dr's to talk about your intense anxiety? Talk about your current intrusive thoughts.

@Hillsmakeyoustrongobviously you don't have to answer but have you ever been to the GP about a breast concern. Im really struggling with this.

I have. Multiple times. It was my fixation for years. The indents you speak of are highly likely to be where the breast has lost pockets of fat with your substantial weight loss. Rationally that is the most logical explanation but I can totally understand why you think it's something more sinister.

I think when you have health anxiety its more important to have a good GP. One who understands and cares that your health anxiety is stopping you seeking advice. I'd be going from that angle and then seeing, once I was there, if I could take the step to allow them to do a quick check.

Do you know, my anxiety was so bad one time, I couldn't even have posted about it. Too scared of what people might say and if I'd spiral further.

Have a look at this thread;

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5471780-finding-a-hypnotherapist-or-other-ideas?reply=150224312

@HillsmakeyoustrongThank you for sharing.. honestly no one in my life understands.. it's 'just book and appointment' and I can't explain why I can't do it. I went onto the gp website to book an appointment this morning and I just starting sweating and shaking and feeling sick!!.. I hate being like this. My husband a few years ago found a lump down there and went the same day but I just cannot do it 🤦🏼‍♀️.. it's the wait I think that would push me over the edge.. if I went and referred me to the breast clinic there's a wait and I just don't think I'd be able to function while I was waiting.. funny thing is deep down I think the same as you. I've lost alot of weight I've got from 44GG to a 36G so it's logical but the little devil on the shoulder obviously screams the opposite 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Hillsmakeyoustrongthank you for the link.. will have a look now 😀

@Eyesopenwideawakeive tried to message you but it won't let me for some reason. I didn't realise you did hypnotherapy ! Just doing it on the link below! How can I contact you?

My DH tries hard to understand. He has intrusive thoughts about his weight so he empathises but I have tested even his patience. His dad was a doctor and honestly they are the most complacent family ever so I don't trust their judgement fully.

What has helped me quite a bit is accepting that devil on the shoulder is a mental illness. It's not your friend though it pretends to be. It loves the motto "early detection saves lives" which has truth at its core (best lies do) but takes it to extreme levels.

You will feel sweaty and sick booking the appointment. I wouldnt expect anything less. It's a one step at a time process. You've posted and you went online within 24 hrs, thats progress.

@Hillsmakeyoustronghave you been referred to the breast clinic before? Sorry I can't talk to anyone else about this 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes I have three times. In my 30s and last year when I had my first ever mammogram. It was such a positive experience. You can DM me if you have specific questions.