Anxiety help post abortion

[sunriseship]

I had an abortion at the beginning of the year and it was a mutual decision between me and my partner. We both don’t live together and also live 2hrs apart so only see eachother on weekends at the moment. So really the abortion was a non negotiable. Ever since the abortion, I have felt so anxious constantly incase it happens again as it is really something I never want to go through again. I sometimes feel so guilty because it’s something that I never wanted to have and I just wish that I had fallen pregnant a few years down the line rather than now when I am not ready. I have spoken to my partner about this and he will always say that it doesn’t matter as the baby wasn’t formed properly etc etc as I had the abortion when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I started taking the desogestrel pill a week after my abortion and I think it could be this which has made my mental health/ anxiety worsen. I stopped taking desogestrel 4 weeks ago however my mental health has since worsened. I am now experiencing panic attacks and anxiety daily particularly around incase it happens again. I have been to my gp about this and they advised taking sertraline however I declined this. I have self referred myself to counselling however this is also a really long waiting list.

i am also experiencing really bad anxiety as I have still not had a proper period since the abortion so am not sure if this is why my emotions are all over the place. I stopped taking the pill 4 weeks ago and at present I am experiencing migraines and for the past 2 days have had dark red spotting in the toilet but no period. I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same as me as I just feel so alone. Abortion

I’m so sorry to hear this. I too had an early medical abortion many years ago now, at 9 weeks. I don’t regret it, as I’m happy with how my life has panned out, and I do have children now. But I did struggle with the guilt for many years, and can relate to the fear of becoming pregnant again. I don’t want to dishearten you, but I didn’t really get over it until I had my first child.

Choosing an abortion is definitely not the ‘easy option’ some people think it is. You are still suffering a loss, even though you may yourself think you shouldn’t feel that way, as it was your decision, but I do think it’s normal to grieve and to allow yourself to go through that process. Are you spiritual, or religious? Would I help to create a little memorial or plant a tree?

I was on the pill after the abortion, but I do think that made me more anxious, so I stopped it, also my relationship broke down and I wasn’t having sex anyway. The thing that helped me the most was studying. I did a degree as a mature student in a subject I loved, and it took my mind off the guilt I was feeling. I think you have to tell yourself that you did it out of kindness, it’s not the right time for you and your partner, and that would have affected the child ultimately.

Can you afford any private counselling sessions? Maybe even one or two would help until you reach the top of the waiting list?

Forgot to mention, the charity SANDS have a helpline, and can help with all types of baby loss / ending a pregnancy. Your feelings are just as real as other parents who have suffered a different type of baby loss, so do reach out to them if you can. I haven’t used them myself, but know someone who has and they were wonderful.

Also forgot to add, I know it’s hard to not worry in these situations, but I think not having a period yet is normal. Your body and hormones need time to reset themselves, and if you’re feeling stressed and anxious at the moment that could also be affecting things x

@Gillettegirl thank you so much for your lovely comments I really appreciate it☺️ I am definitely gonna have a look into those online. It’s honestly such a horrible feeling, it was just such the wrong timing. It’s so strange because I don’t regret my decision one bit because of the circumstances but I still feel so much guilt xx

@sunriseship apologies for the late reply. I sincerely hope it’s helped, it is not a nice feeling, and I do sympathise with any woman going through it. I think the change in hormones doesn’t help, and makes our brains work in strange ways sometimes! All the best xx