Anyone experienced this? Help!

[FatAmy123]

Hello,
I would really like to know if anyone’s been through what I am currently because I’m scared. I’ve already rang my GP for help but am awaiting a call back.
I have anxiety and depression, I’ve been on anti depressants for years. I’ve managed to keep things fairly stable.
I do have a lot of stressful elements to my life- physical health issues that meant I had to give up work, 2 children with ASD, 1 who is severe and requires constant care. Another child (now young adult) who has medical problems that have landed them in hospital numerous times, including having to be in resus. It’s a lot and I’ve kind of muddled through everything. I’m also pretty sure I’m nearing menopause- my periods are all over the place and I’m 44. My mums menopause was when she was younger than me.
A week ago I saw a music video on Instagram. I thought it was a cool video and shared it. My algorithm kept bringing me back to it and I realised it made me feel a bit weird, like kind of nostalgic, but also a bit creeped out and uncomfortable. It’s really hard to describe how it made me feel.
Then on Saturday night when I was alone, I started, out of nowhere, to feel like my thoughts were rushing really fast. Then the lyrics to this song were cycling in my head, but not in a “normal” ear worm type way, like that was all I could think about. I started to get really scared I was losing my grip on reality and started to get a pounding heart and palpitations. I could make it stop for a bit by listening to something comforting, but when as soon as there was silence, it happened again. I finally fell asleep but kept waking with these lyrics like they were shouting inside my head.
I’ve managed to get through the day times semi normally, but I feel numb and detached. When I’m on my own, it starts again, as does the anxiety feelings. It’s making me feel physically sick.
Does anyone have any experience of this, I realise I sound insane.
Please be gentle

I started with intrusive thoughts when I was approaching menopause and whilst not exactly the same as you I wonder if these lyrics have become ‘sticky’ in the same way. I was recommended the book ‘overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts’ and it was really helpful.

I also do recognise the ‘everything speeding up’ feeling and it is horrible

I don’t think you are ‘going mad’ (I wondered that too) but that you are probably overwhelmed and possibly burnt out.

be kind to yourself

Thank you so much for your reply. Unfortunately my call with the GP surgery was a waste of time. They got a nurse to call me who kept putting me on hold, talking to people in the room with her and then said she couldn’t help but a Dr would call. Receptionist then called to offer me an appointment in 2 weeks.
In the end I managed to get an emergency appointment for tomorrow in their overspill surgery.

@lorisparkleit’s interesting you’ve experienced something similar connected to hormones. My cycles are suddenly really long and I’ve been having other symptoms like hot flushes for a while now. I’ll have to mention it tomorrow.

I either feel super anxiety, or I’m just numb right now

I have bipolar disorder and so
sometimes I get that where a line from a song will loop over and over in my head. It’s usually when I am anxious I think, it’s like my brain blocking stuff out but yes it feels disturbing when it happens. You are not alone xx hope you get somewhere with your appt tomorrow - write down what you need to say so that you don’t get overwhelmed and come away feeling you haven’t got your point across, that’s my advice. All the best xx