I have cptsd from childhood s/a and a further 3 episodes during my teens.
I don’t like or trust 90% of men, because from experience, they only want one thing and see women as objects of their desire. (I am married to an amazing man, so I know it’s not all men by any means)
I’ve had years of therapy, I’ve learned coping strategies for when I’m triggered (sorry, I really hate that word)
A man I know through my job has a tendency to be over familiar, to the point it makes me uncomfortable but it was raised with him once a couple of years ago. He was told it could be contaminated sexual harassment and he backed off. All was fine. I still spoke to him, I was friendly polite and professional.
Over the last few months, he’s been starting again with the over familiarity and saying things that make me feel uncomfortable. I avoid him as much as I can but it’s not always possible. Last week, he crossed a line and said something that completely crossed a line (a comment about liking what was under my clothing). He said this to someone else whilst I was standing right there. This other person was absolutely disgusted and told my manager straight away. It’s being dealt with.
I feel pathetic for saying that this has sent my cptsd spiralling. Hallucinations, night terrors and anxiety have all ramped up again massively in the last few days and this is the only thing I can pin it on. Does this make me sound ridiculous? Having such an extreme response to words that weren’t even said to me, just about me. I feel so low, both about what he said but also the way I’m reacting to it. I wish I could shrug it off, but my brain won’t let me.