Is this panic disorder?

[gingerandpeppermint]

I am a 33 year old female.

I have suffered with anxiety from a very young age having my first panic attack at 8 yrs old. The attacks seemed to merge with when/if I was feeling nauseated/wanting to be sick. I have had emetophobia since I was around 10yrs old and the severity has been intermittent but since developing an array of severe gut issues (mainly IBS) it has become debilitating.

However, no matter how bad my anxiety has gotten (migraines, colossal ibs attacks, breathing issues) I believe I never suffered anything other than anxiety attacks and never panic. I am very in-tune with my mind and body and know for a fact if I have an interview, dentist appt etc I will get a very nervous gut. If I'm REALLY anxious about something I will get a pounding headache for hours when I crash. It all happens like clockwork.
But in the last 9 months, I have been suffering rather sporadic out-of-touch, indescribable and insatiable feelings. The only way I can describe it is suddenly having a "rush" in my chest, heart and stomach, even if Im completely chilled out and its like something needs to get out. Obviously, as an emetophobe this is PETRIFYING. Theres been a good 5 or 6 times this year where I feel like I need to throw up even though within an instant my stomach isnt even nauseated. Alongside this I have awful brain fog, derealization and depersonalisation (I only know these terms from googling all the above symptoms). If you've experienced this you'll know how scary and intimidating it is as its completely out of our control. I had a lovely relaxing day on Tuesday of this week and went to the bookstore where, out of nowhere I had the feeling. I couldnt put my finger on what it was but I just felt WEIRD. This lasted around 30min and thankfully staved off when I got home and relaxed.

I took a job on 3 years ago to pay for expensive city rent and the hours are sometimes up to 40 per week. The job is highly intense where Im taking up to 50 calls per day in a road traffic emergency department but due to an acute episode of illness 4 years ago (gallstone pancreatitis followed by gallbladder removal) I lost my previous job. I have been so fearful since that day that I have managed only to take 3 sick days in my almost-4 years at this place. I'm both proud but alarmed at how much I took on since getting sick with the pancreatitis (for those without gallbladders you'll know this only worsens our gut health).
Apart of me believes that I never let my body heal from the illness/immediate surgery 4 years ago hence why there is underlying tension in my body needing to reset/relax. I went back to work just one week after the whole ordeal, still cut up with fresh wounds when my manager saw me on the floor in the corridor and (having my scars been infected) and pulled me into the office coldly said "its not worked out for you here has it? Our intention will be to dismiss you. Good luck in the future". I took around 2 months to job hunt and launched straight into this one. My main manager has been extremely understanding about this and thoroughly supportive but lately due to high toxicity within the environment the work from home element is alot stricter and we have to choose what days we work from home around 2 weeks in advance - a complete tragedy with an irritable gut and sporadic panic attacks.

Going back to the issue, I was prescribed propranolol one year ago but due to my extreme phobia of feeling sick I have been too scared to take it. I went back to the doctors last week to get some insight into the side effects on a low dose to which they advised nausea will always be a side effect despite the chances being low. I had one of these apparent panic attacks in work 2 weeks ago and felt like walking out and curling up into a ball for the rest of my life. I'm literally living for the good days inbetween which, ironically do happen.

Does this sound like panic disorder? or maybe some temporary turbulence in my mental health ?

Sounds like very longstanding high levels of anxiety with multiple symptoms of that with recent worsening, and even risk of approaching burn out

I would suggest propanolol would give some temporary relief of physical symptoms but is not going to tackle more root cause -

i would suggest GP appt -
request medication like SSRI

the side effects will list nausea but is usually mild and does not lead to vomiting -

prioritise self care
sleep, nutrition, activity - burn off excess adrenaline/ stress hormones by exercising

then seek CBT therapy - a good BABCP accredited one,
and engage with therapy for transdiagnostic anxiety - you have aspects of panic and emetephobia with signs of acute anxiety such as dissociation

Can you try the propanolol on a day where you can be home all day? That way you can find out what, if any, side effects you might get while you're in a place where you feel safe.

I took it for panic attacks for years and had no side effects. It can be very effective if you take it at the first sign of a panic attack. If you know what your triggers are, you can also take it just before a likely triggering event. I still take one before I go to the dentist or gynaecologist as I know both are likely to trigger an attack.

Agree you might find a low dose of antidepressant numbs the anxiety reaction.

However anxiety and panic are the body's warning systems and kindly I think you need some help - I'm no expert but it sounds like you might have complex PTSD. I had EMDR therapy which was helpful, I've also found somatic therapies help like yoga etc. The body and brain are both connected and this is more recognised in the NHS.

As to whether its temporary, I'd think of temporary being an adjustment reaction to stress, so maybe the change in having to fix your schedule Is causing a stress reaction. You could ask for reasonable adjustments but if they can't accommodate them then you have to adapt or change roles.

Either way it sounds like you have been through a lot and need therapeutic support.

I take propanolol for anxiety and have had no side effects. As @HauntedRavioli said try one at home first to see how you feel.

I have emetophobia and have been taking propanolol for almost two years, the as and when type not the slow release ones. I have never experienced nausea from it or any other side effects at all.