Advice on seeking help

[Mamma28384]

I feel like I’ve been on a slow downward slope for a long time, but the last week has been awful. I feel completely out of control with my temper with one of my kids, just on a hair trigger. I find myself shouting to leave me alone, and my threshold for tolerance is suddenly much lower than it used to be. It’s scary for me because I’ve always been the calm, understanding parent. I hate the parent I have been this last week.

There are extenuating factors - SEN first child, toddler second child, supportive but stressed DH, no other family, recently moved somewhere less desirable and lost my whole local friend network and regular adults to talk to. Half term is usually fine for me to manage. I don’t think it’s even the heat. SEN child is not any more difficult than usual, but the stress of looking after both kids is probably what’s breaking me. I am probably ND too, though a high functioning one.

It’s something internal In me. Someone suggested peri-menopause to me and I’m certainly at that age and could possibly have a couple of symptoms.

If I go to the GP with this what can they help
me with - talking therapy at best? Test for peri-menopause? My mum-rage took a step up only a week ago but I’ve had ongoing stress for years because of my SEN child. If medication is a possibility will it mean that breastfeeding my little one needs to stop?

Just to add that when the kids are fine then I am fine. It’s only when my oldest is set off in a specific way, that sets me off too. So I don’t know if that really counts as mood swings. It’s more like my reaction to a specific trigger has become completely overblown.

A sudden change in your temper, especially when you've always been a calm parent, is worth talking through. It could be stress catching up with you, burnout, perimenopause, or something else that's affecting how you're feeling. They can help work out what's going on.

Also I think it’s worth getting your situation recorded even if nothing much happens on this first occasion. (A totally different situation to yours but I went periodically for 30 years bedore covid and peri-menopause rolled me over the edge I’d pulled myself back from for decades and I was rushed to A&E and diagnosed with hypomania and ultimately bipolar.)

i am not medical but your post reads like you’re at risk of burnout and need some respite care. I don’t know if you would meet the criteria for having that on the NHS or if they’d expect you to find privately.

As someone who spent a lifetime under-complaining whilst worrying I was over-complaining, I would really recommend you soeak to your GP. The system is so stretched right now that you may not get much help but that doesn’t change the fact you do need help.