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Feeling overwhelmed by marriage, family life and my mental health

6 replies

Lig0607 · 30/05/2026 21:58

Sat here worrying about everything. Is my marriage over.There seems to be little effort from other half. Two DD living at at home 22 and 17. They go to work ,come home from work, little is happening with them, no real friendships, boyfriends nothing. I suggested tonight they get a hobbie, that was my head biten off. Then husband said I was like jeckle and Hyde because my mood changed. It changed because I'm exhausted, I do everything around the home to keep it running, I'm constantly worrying are my DDs happy, do they feel lonely. I ask husband to do something around the house, he forgets! I'm 48 and my body is knackered, my libido has totally gone, saying that husband only shows affection when he wants sex. I feel used. Friendships are getting hard work for me, I feel invisible even when I'm with friends. I have no extended family close by, my parents are both gone. I feel jealous when my girlfriends talk about what they are doing with their families. From the outside people would think I was ok because that's my go to response 'I'm ok' but I'm really not. I feel miserable, fat, lonely, even though I do socialise, I do work. I feel used by my husband and DD like I'm just the cleaner.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 30/05/2026 22:08

Stop worrying about everyone else, start paying attention to you and your needs. What would you choose as a hobby?

Lig0607 · 30/05/2026 22:26

I already do walking netball, Wi , crocheting , reading. I worry I have let my girls drop extra curricular activities on secondary snf now they seem to be bedroom bound when not working.

As for husband he's knows I'm upset tonight and as usual it's ignored, he's gone to bed

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 31/05/2026 14:47

How would you feel about making a new life on your own?

Excited, terrified, relieved?

Lig0607 · 31/05/2026 15:43

Sad and terrified. I don't not love my husband. I just know we're in a bad phase. Lack of affection and actual understanding is not there. Sometimes I wander is it me, do I expect to much , we've been married for 26 years.

OP posts:
MarmadukeM · 31/05/2026 16:09

Lig0607 · 30/05/2026 21:58

Sat here worrying about everything. Is my marriage over.There seems to be little effort from other half. Two DD living at at home 22 and 17. They go to work ,come home from work, little is happening with them, no real friendships, boyfriends nothing. I suggested tonight they get a hobbie, that was my head biten off. Then husband said I was like jeckle and Hyde because my mood changed. It changed because I'm exhausted, I do everything around the home to keep it running, I'm constantly worrying are my DDs happy, do they feel lonely. I ask husband to do something around the house, he forgets! I'm 48 and my body is knackered, my libido has totally gone, saying that husband only shows affection when he wants sex. I feel used. Friendships are getting hard work for me, I feel invisible even when I'm with friends. I have no extended family close by, my parents are both gone. I feel jealous when my girlfriends talk about what they are doing with their families. From the outside people would think I was ok because that's my go to response 'I'm ok' but I'm really not. I feel miserable, fat, lonely, even though I do socialise, I do work. I feel used by my husband and DD like I'm just the cleaner.

I could’ve written this a year ago. It sounds like you are burnt out, being everything to everyone and feeling invisible. I felt very lonely even though I was with my husband. I don’t have any advice I’m afraid, just wanted to say you are not alone xx

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/06/2026 10:23

Lig0607 · 31/05/2026 15:43

Sad and terrified. I don't not love my husband. I just know we're in a bad phase. Lack of affection and actual understanding is not there. Sometimes I wander is it me, do I expect to much , we've been married for 26 years.

It's very rarely one person's fault when a relationship falters (violence and infidelity notwithstanding) so don't fall into the trap of taking all the responsibility. Hard as it might to do, you and he have to a serious conversation about how you view the future. If he won't do that – either just between you or with a couples counsellor – then you have your answer. But not knowing/doing nothing about and just hoping things will change isn't really an option.

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