OCD spiralling over house choice

[LemonCookie8]

Hi all, first time poster in this section. I’m having a bit of a mental health crisis and I don’t know what to do. Sorry if this is too long.
I have OCD (no external compulsions) and have a history of fixating on whether I have made the right decision on various topics. I struggled for years with the fear of being with the wrong partner, which I got over thanks to some CBT counselling.
Now to the more recent issue…we bought a house in 2023 after a long search. This house ticked most of our boxes, including the location (a desirable area with good schools and lots going on etc). We were moving from a quiet area with zero amenities and we loved the idea of having shops and restaurants on our doorstep, a lovely park nearby. The house buying process was difficult, big chain which collapsed twice. During that time I started wondering if that was a sign that the house wasn’t meant to be. Eventually it all went through and for the first few months things were great. After a while I started noticing that the noise from the sports club and the pub started to bother me (this is only an issue in the warmer months when they play music in the beer garden or with the doors open). This has now become a major trigger that makes me question if this house was the wrong decision. I feel like an idiot for not figuring out that living close to notably noisy venues would cause issues. Every time I hear the music I get a huge anxious reaction and I start spiralling (I’m stuck, this house will never sell, we can’t move so soon, it would be a major red flag). I feel so trapped and this in itself is a big source of anxiety (for reasons I won’t go into as this post is already long enough!). I end up ruminating and trying to seek certainty, the usual OCD loop. Not really sure what I’m asking, I’m feeling so overwhelmed and desperately need a hand hold.
thank you if you made it this far!

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this. In your post you mention music is season related so try to hold on to the fact that summer is soon over and the noise levels will return to a more manageable level (also you'll be able to keep the windows shut when it's cooler!). Meet today's problems with today's strength. Unless you're planning on listing your house tomorrow don't stress over if it would sell or not. Somebody bought the house before you and somebody will buy it again when the time comes. How does your partner feel about the noise etc, I usually gauge my reactions based on what my nearest and dearest feel about the thing that's bothering me. Are there any things you enjoy about living at the property. Nothing stays the same, things constantly change, we constantly change. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. My partner says that the noise is “an inconvenience but not the end of the world”. A much more level-headed way of seeing things, whereas I struggle to accept “good enough”.

OP, you bought the house because you liked it, and other people will like it for,the same reasons that you do. You really, really don’t need to feel trapped. The noise is irritating, but temporary. You can have noise wherever you live - I know someone who has a house with a massive garden, and you can hear the noise of a busy road that’s actually quite a long way away when the wind is in the right direction. My DM lived in the country, and it was very quiet except when it wasn’t, when farm machinery went rumbling by, and it was very noisy! There’s no such thing as a perfect house, OP, and you are in danger of letting the perfect become the enemy of the good. Things in life only have to be good enough, otherwise, you’re just chasing unicorns. Hang on to the reasons you bought the house, and the things you’ve done to make it yours. Remember, it’s not just a house, it’s your home, and there will be minor irritations wherever you live.

I tend to think everything has to be perfect especially when cleaning. A few years ago I read something about try not to clean to perfection sometimes good enough will do. I'm definitely guilty of chasing unicorns.

Are you medicated for the OCD?

Try to remember that no house is perfect. My old house was cramped but had a quieter garden. The house before that had more character but no downstairs loo. The one before that was basically falling down but so convenient for walking to town. There is always a pay off. We recently brought a lovely house near a dual carriage way. I knew before I moved that the road noise would be my compromise for having a spare room, garage, driveway and garden which we didn't have before.

Try to remember all the benefits you get from your new house. I wonder if you could try loop ear plugs in the garden to help you reduce the noise and get out of this cycle of being fixated on it?