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I feel like I’m trapped

9 replies

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 30/05/2026 12:09

Apologies if I start rambling I’m feeling really unwell. I have severe mental health issues and agoraphobia. Which means I’m trapped in the house. Making half terms really difficult. I can’t take the kids out like I used to so I am reliant on my husband. He has only taken 2 days off this time meaning my youngest has been with me. He’s been to a mates one day and with a relative a few hours another. I just feel so deathly guilty. My husband’s whole attitude to me is to just not talk about my problems and hope they’ll go away. I have struggled through the last few days and today I thought he might stay around to take youngest out or something but no, he’s been summoned by his family to help them out and off he’s gone. So again I’m trapped in the house with the kids. I work extremely hard to hide my issues from the kids. But it’s getting harder and harder. They honestly don’t know there’s anything from with me I’m that good at masking. I get round the agoraphobia by telling them I have to be at home for various things. God knows how this will work in the summer. I told him out right that I couldn’t cope on Thursday and he literally ignored me. I’m trying to get help but the mental health service here is diabolical. I just don’t know which way is up. I know I must be hard for him to live with but surely what should make him want to help me more??

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 30/05/2026 12:15

So how old are the kids?

shellyleppard · 30/05/2026 12:20

Hi op can you get any help from your doctor?? Try one small step. So just stepping out of the door. Then straight back in. If you are comfortable with this then stay out for a few minutes. Gradually increase the time but only if you feel comfortable x im taking medication daily and also using the talking therapy service from my GP X good luck x

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 30/05/2026 12:23

They are 11 & 15. The 15yo doesn’t need much input but the younger still needs input. I’m honestly trying to get help but the MH service here is awful. Months and months of waiting lists. I do try to get out but being outside the door is very different to doing a day out. So I just feel guilty all the time.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 30/05/2026 13:44

Do you know why the agoraphobia started? What was the trigger, or was it something that built up over time?

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 30/05/2026 17:05

It was triggered by being reminded of an incident from my past. Sorry to be vague. It’s definitely then built up over time and got a lot worse.

OP posts:
Larrythecatforpm · 30/05/2026 17:10

Can the 15 year old take the 11 year old out?

Eyesopenwideawake · 30/05/2026 17:11

That's OK; it's helpful that you know the trigger. The part of your mind that's telling you that outside is not a safe space is doing it to try to protect you, but the strategy is too broad, and therefore not helpful. It's akin to someone avoiding all dogs because one dog scared them once, or someone refusing to ever travel in a car because they were once in an accident.

Have you had any therapy for this?

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · Yesterday 11:06

I’m trying but being sent in circles by mental health teams. Basically I think you need to go private to get help and I can’t do that. So I just have to wait. Meanwhile I’m off work and just getting worse and worse.

OP posts:
omghereistrouble · Yesterday 11:20

have you contacted MIND they can be very helpful and sometimes have local groups or contact

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