A little sad as to how things have turned out

[FinallyPregnant2022]

Full disclaimer: I have a lovely partner and two lovely healthy & happy kids and should appreciate what I’ve got.

I’ve worked through the motions and I don’t think I’m depressed but I’m a little underwhelmed with life as it is.

Work is ok - I have a steady job which pays the bills but that’s all it is. My area of work is quite niche and I wouldn’t want to re-train.

Home is just endless cleaning, tidying and laundry but its fine - we all get on.

I just can’t help feeling lonely - I have friends but spread accross the country and busy with their own lives. I have nobody nearby that I can call to go for a coffee/cinema/drink. I’ve really tried - joining clubs etc - I was hoping that baby/toddler groups would have helped me to make a few friends but it hasn’t been the case. I met nice people but they all sort of had their friends already and didn’t seem to want more.

I live in a relatively rural area and am late 30s - I just feel a bit lost really, not sure what I should be doing at the age/stage I’m at.

It sounds like you're feeling blue - we're all allowed that from time to time. Usually it has the effect of heralding a new idea about how to make a positive change - it's your brain's way of helping you sieve through your thoughts. I don't think you need to worry that you're feeling a bit down - embrace it and think about what it means. Make a list of what you could change if you tried. Maybe call one of your friends for a chat or arrange to visit - a new perspective can make such a difference. Good luck.

That’s very common, especially with kids and rural living. Wanting more connection and excitement doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate your family. This phase can change, even slowly.

Yes you’re probably right.
I go through phases of feeling better about it - but I would say that’s more about acceptance than any improvement.
I thought having kids would sort out my social life/make me more settled and am just a bit gutted that hasn’t happened.

Do not put pressure on yourself that you SHOULD be doing something in particular - no competition / tick list etc.

That said, if you are lonely have you considered voluntary work?

You said you are rural, can you get to a nearby town - maybe a food bank / homeless hub ?