No sorry I should have made it clear that I've always been like this!
It's just now the people I'm letting down are people that matter to me, rather than my
employers, who to be brutally honest I never really cared much for.
When I was young I was always very bright, and generally did well, but this was more due to
voraciously reading books I was interested in (Dorling Kindersley books!) rather than
actually paying attention in class. I did amazingly well at GSCE (got all As), but then got poor grades at A-level and barely scraped through my degree. I put so much effort into my GCSEs and A-levels, as well as having extra help from my parents, friends and extra tuition. It was so frustrating to see my grades fail despite trying so hard, but at the end of the day, if it wasn't that interesting, I just lost interest and couldn't concentrate for the life of me. I'd read the same passage of text again and again for up to an hour, then exhausted from all the effort go to read a "chapter" of a fun book, then surface three hours later having learned nothing, but had a relaxing read! I could usually wing it in exams, but half of my coursework wasn't even finished, and revision involved having a quick scan of someone else's notes.
My report cards all the way through school were full of "lacks application", "talks too
much", "would do well if she ever stopped daydreaming", and the constant "could do better".
The number of times I was sent to the headmistresses office for being disruptive (swinging back on my chair constnatly, fidgeting, jiggling my legs etc) was
significant. I also had a bad back (that I've only recently grown out of) because I always had to carry all of my books with me all the time, otherwise I'd forget them. I used to use a 40 litre rucksack as my schoolbag . The only reason I wasn't chucked out of school was because it was a private school and my Dad was a respectable member of the community .
At university again I was damn lucky to fall in with the right crowd who really supported me and (I'm not particularly proud of this) gave me their note cards to read through the night before the exams, as well as patiently explaining anything I had a problem with. As it was, I got a third, and was nearly chucked out for non-submittal of coursework.
I've been working in the same place since I graduated. I'm frankly gobsmacked they haven't sacked me for the amount of time I spend staring out of the window or on the internet. I'm lucky that my job isn't too taxing (most of the time) and I can get away with spending three hours on a report that should only take half an hour. The hardest part I find is actually starting anything - if I am given a template to fill in, I'm usually OK, but if I just have to fill a blank piece of paper I find it virtually impossible to get started, and really push the bounds of procrastination. I've also turned into the backup office receptionist as I can't let a phone ring for more than three rings. Again, I'm lucky because I've got a reputation for being helpful, as I'd always rather do little easy jobs, especially if they involve driving anywhere, or doing something that doesn't involve my brain so I can let it wander.
Sorry, I have a tendency to go off on tangents - what I'm trying to say, is yes I've always been very absent minded, a definite daydreamer, procrastinator, and general slacker. I've always found it so hard to make the first moves. It's only become a real issue for me recently because I can't get away with it any more. I can't still have this amount of mess and clutter with a baby who's about to start crawling, and because DH is working extra hours to provide for us, there are some things I have to do myself, and they're still just not being done.
I guess the next step is to go to my GP, but I don't want to make a nuisance of myself or be accused of being an attention whore (something I always got when I was younger) and lazy to boot. I very tentatively mentioned it to my dad (as he has a tendency to be absent minded and scatty, but not as bad as I am) and he preached to my about organisational skills (as if I haven't tried!) and told me to "just snap out of it", so I didn't take it any further. I guess I'm just worried of getting the same response from my GP.
Sorry this post is so long! I'm just trying to clarify the situation more in my own head than anything else!