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Would I be able to get help?

6 replies

Waitingforthistopass75 · Yesterday 09:54

I’ll try not to make this too long but I’m after advice as to whether I would be reasonable to ask for support or whether this is just what I have to try and get on with.

I have a long history of trauma from childhood into teens including SA, parent with alcoholism a difficult and neglectful mother amongst other things. For years I remained functional by dissociating. I battled an eating disorder for over 18 years. But was able to go to university and gain good qualifications and ended up in a well paid professional position in a quite stressful industry.
I then got married and had children.
Since then my mental health has plummeted. The trauma turned into PtSD with debilitating symptoms. I was also diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have made multiple suicide attempts and basically every day is a battle to stay alive and function.

i was unable to keep working so had to quit my job. I now work 2 very low paid jobs that are ‘easy’ in comparison to what I was doing. They are jobs that do not take most people a lot of mental energy. However, I am still really struggling to function whilst doing them. It’s really knocked my confidence as I used to love my previous job and was good at it and now simple admin roles are too much. I work every day and then have my children to care for. My DH is well paid and often works away. Lately I’m finding that working is draining me so much I’m not able to care properly for my children so my husband is needing to stay at home and now risks losing his job.

I am in therapy and on medication with regular reviews. I have crisis team involvement when suicidal and a psychiatrist that sees me regularly. On my medical records, my conditions are marked as disability.

I feel like I really need to cut down my hours of work but can’t afford to. I’m terrified my husband is going to lose his job.

The trouble is that on the outside I look functional. Inside I’m falling apart. When I look at disability support financially I don’t think I would tick many boxes as I don’t need help with dressing or feeding or mobility. Although some days I do forget how to use the shower or remember where my clothes are and my husband has to show me. I sometimes can’t do very many tasks in the job that I’m doing but since I’m the only one in the office and the hours are flexible, I can make up and finish the work when my brain is more capable.

But I really need some help. What benefits would I be able to get (if any) and is this a good enough reason to try to claim.
Im feeling desperate.

OP posts:
BuffetTheDietSlayer · Yesterday 10:05

Put in a claim for PIP. No one can tell you if you’ll be awarded or not, you just have to try.

If your household income in low then put in a claim for universal credit aswell.

Waitingforthistopass75 · Yesterday 10:12

My household income isn’t low. I don’t think I could claim UC. I wonder if anyone similar to me has been awarded PIP or turned down. I’d be interested to hear from people.

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Tillow4ever · Yesterday 10:18

I don’t know about benefits, but if you’d financially be better off with you not working than your husband not working, is it worth giving up one of the two jobs you currently have to see if the reduced hours helps you, and your husband stops taking time off to support you? Can you look to see if a friend/family member/carer could come in to help you at the time of day you need the most support? Even paying local teenager to come in and get the kids ready for school, before they go to school themselves? Or could your husband adjust his hours so he starts later to help you in the mornings?

Does your husband have any chance of promotion that could help him to earn more money that would take the pressure off you having to work?

It sounds like you have been through so much in your life, you have done amazingly well to achieve what you have. I hope you can get the support you need.

BuffetTheDietSlayer · Yesterday 10:44

Waitingforthistopass75 · Yesterday 10:12

My household income isn’t low. I don’t think I could claim UC. I wonder if anyone similar to me has been awarded PIP or turned down. I’d be interested to hear from people.

Knowing whether other people similar have been awarded or not won’t help your application. Many people are turned down as they simply didn’t fill in the form correctly or didn’t send evidence.

Try the eligibility test on here to see if you have a chance

Take the PIP test

Get the benefits you're entitled to: help with personal independence payment (PIP), universal credit (UC), employment and support allowance (ESA),disability living allowance (DLA). Claims, assessments, reviews, appeals.

https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/personal-independence-payment-pip/pip-self-test

Waitingforthistopass75 · Yesterday 14:34

Tillow4ever · Yesterday 10:18

I don’t know about benefits, but if you’d financially be better off with you not working than your husband not working, is it worth giving up one of the two jobs you currently have to see if the reduced hours helps you, and your husband stops taking time off to support you? Can you look to see if a friend/family member/carer could come in to help you at the time of day you need the most support? Even paying local teenager to come in and get the kids ready for school, before they go to school themselves? Or could your husband adjust his hours so he starts later to help you in the mornings?

Does your husband have any chance of promotion that could help him to earn more money that would take the pressure off you having to work?

It sounds like you have been through so much in your life, you have done amazingly well to achieve what you have. I hope you can get the support you need.

Thank you. We live very rurally and have no family around us. We can’t afford to pay anyone to help.
I think it may be that I have to drop one job as it would be more sensible to lose part of my income rather than the whole of DH’s.
Perhaps if I have some recovery time, I may get well enough to work properly again. My hope would be to one day go back to the job I had before. I just think it’s going to be a long road. I do appreciate your well wishes.

OP posts:
Waitingforthistopass75 · Yesterday 14:35

@BuffetTheDietSlayer thank you. I will look at this.

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