I’ll try not to make this too long but I’m after advice as to whether I would be reasonable to ask for support or whether this is just what I have to try and get on with.
I have a long history of trauma from childhood into teens including SA, parent with alcoholism a difficult and neglectful mother amongst other things. For years I remained functional by dissociating. I battled an eating disorder for over 18 years. But was able to go to university and gain good qualifications and ended up in a well paid professional position in a quite stressful industry.
I then got married and had children.
Since then my mental health has plummeted. The trauma turned into PtSD with debilitating symptoms. I was also diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have made multiple suicide attempts and basically every day is a battle to stay alive and function.
i was unable to keep working so had to quit my job. I now work 2 very low paid jobs that are ‘easy’ in comparison to what I was doing. They are jobs that do not take most people a lot of mental energy. However, I am still really struggling to function whilst doing them. It’s really knocked my confidence as I used to love my previous job and was good at it and now simple admin roles are too much. I work every day and then have my children to care for. My DH is well paid and often works away. Lately I’m finding that working is draining me so much I’m not able to care properly for my children so my husband is needing to stay at home and now risks losing his job.
I am in therapy and on medication with regular reviews. I have crisis team involvement when suicidal and a psychiatrist that sees me regularly. On my medical records, my conditions are marked as disability.
I feel like I really need to cut down my hours of work but can’t afford to. I’m terrified my husband is going to lose his job.
The trouble is that on the outside I look functional. Inside I’m falling apart. When I look at disability support financially I don’t think I would tick many boxes as I don’t need help with dressing or feeding or mobility. Although some days I do forget how to use the shower or remember where my clothes are and my husband has to show me. I sometimes can’t do very many tasks in the job that I’m doing but since I’m the only one in the office and the hours are flexible, I can make up and finish the work when my brain is more capable.
But I really need some help. What benefits would I be able to get (if any) and is this a good enough reason to try to claim.
Im feeling desperate.