Post DV, trauma, lack of desire.

[88Pandora88]

Not entirely sure where's the best place for this question.

Basically I split with my ex a couple of years ago due to DV.

Since splitting, I've zero sexual desire.

I've had people joke/comment "has it put you off men, are you a lesbian now"

In reality yes, it has made me have trust issues with men, but no it's no made me a lesbian. I simply have no sexual desire at all.

Please, tell me this is normal after trauma?

Sexual desire shuts down for any number of reasons. More importantly are you happy with not wanting sex at the moment?

Hi. Can relate. Left my abusive ex just over ten years ago. It was a horrific relationship including being forced to have sex with him as well as physical emotional financial abuse etc. I went on a date a couple of years ago. It made be hugely uncomfortable and I’ve not spoken to anyone since. I had a profile on hinge but tbh do not find any man attractive. Also no real desire to have sex. I have massive trust issues and feel really uncomfortable around men. Even men I perceive as ‘safe’ - work colleagues I know well.

I just want to be ‘normal’ and have someone to share life with but I don’t know how I will ever achieve that. I’ve never had a positive relationship in fairness. Only two real relationships - both toxic/abusive. Then lots of ‘flings’ where I essentially gave them want they wanted but never got anything back myself.

I feel really sad writing this. My ex has moved on (to destroy other women and children’s lives) while I’m here broken and trying to raise his son to not be like his dad. Fortunately the courts saw sense and they gave no contact. However, this may cause more challenges as my son gets older and questions why his dad is not present in his life.

im not happy in my life but I try to find little things that bring me some enjoyment.

I split with my abusive ex nearly 3 years ago now. I have no desire whatsoever to have another relationship. I'm quite happy with that. I think it exceedingly unlikely I will ever attempt to have another relationship with anyone, despite having weekly counselling since, even the thought of it makes me feel sick with fear.