Hello, i was diagnosed with EUBPD a few years ago. I internalise my emotions then explode and cannot regulate. I didn't agree with the diagnosis either, Google isn't great when looking up BPD. There's such a stigma attached to it. Recently my GP explained that it is usually a childhood trauma and unresolved issues that cause emotional regulation issues.
I am no where near as bad as I was years ago, now I feel that it is best I isolate myself and avoid social interaction.
It is difficult to explain because there are so many traits that can overlap with other conditions.
A typical day when I am triggered is like a roller coaster of highs and lows from hour to hour. I could be divorcing my husband and removing his belongings at 9am, selling the dogs at 11am, angry and in danger of making the worst impulsive decisions. I had a spell years ago of running up debt buying things to make me feel good, it was a vicious circle of self sabotage.
I have put myself in situations where I was in physical or sexual danger, open to manipulation etc.
I held down a very responsible job, the highs of deadlines and achievement to my next level was addictive. When I burned out that was when I totally lost the plot I had no focus. It's either all or nothing.
As I said I am so much better now years later. I still have highs, I can control better but the low is lower than a snakes belly.
I have self sabotaged so much I now have chronic conditions related to stress and constant viral infections.
This is probably not what you have asked for so apologies.
Who diagnosed you?