have had pnd depression for 18 months, no better after 4 lots of different ad's, have a cpn, and homestart 'helper' coming round...had my first hour away from dd on tues in 16 months and estranged mam has agreed to have dd once a week while shes asleep so me and dp can go to gym/swimming whatever...
but i fel so so down, crying all the time, snapping, shouting at dd, cant 'control her' even though she's normally good, she's either playing me up or im not handling her well...i dont want to do anything other than sleep or sit on here when dd is craving my attention, dont get dressed most days until dp due in and have no interest in anything..me and dp either argue or dont talk, i feel we have grown so far apart, but dont know where to begin to sort anyhting out.
i feel swamped and everything is spiralling out of control.
im not after sympathy..dont know what i want, i just want to feel normal again, but how do i start?