I’ve just woken up after a nightmare, I can’t remember what happened other than my whole body is shaking.
My OCD is so bad it’s absolutely taking over my life. I will go weeks without a worry or ‘theme.’ And then it comes back and hits me.
The current theme is asbestos in my house. My son’s play sand has tested positive and whilst I’ve cleaned it up, I am finding tiny bits in all sorts of crevices around the house. In little gaps between floorboard and radiator. Underneath the beading where we kept
his tuff tray. I loved making sensory tables for him and would put all his toys and tools in and he’d play for hours. I would then hoover all the sand up 🙃
I’m convinced we will all die from this play sand and the fact that there’s no test or anything that can be done - it absolutely plagues me!
I receive private therapy, I go to meditation, I am medicated, I’ve gone back and forth to the doctors and I’m getting more intensive therapy (180 day wait) and I’ve recently started hypnotherapy to try and calm my nervous system.
What else can I do? Is this just who I am and I’m resigned to a life of ok periods followed by the intense doom ?