I want to run away from today

[Youthinkyouareaniconoclast]

I'm on a train to London from Manchester for a work meeting at 1400. I want to jump off at the next station and go home.

Major changes at work and I took two days off annual leave unplanned to try and sort my head out. Helped a bit.

STBXH being very difficult. Now out of the country for duration unknown.

DS had paeds appointment yesterday about severe migraines and was very upset that it was felt to be stress related. He feels fobbed off. Took a lot of de-escalation and needs more support from me when u have the bloody time to give it.

It doesn't help that both London trip and appointment were last minute plans, and I don't do quick changes very well.

I'm so miserable I'm comfort eating and have put on a stupid amount of weight. I look awful. I want to hide under my duvet.

Deal with all issues one at a time:

Divorce
Work
Your son's health - needs an MRI
Drink coffee and some food for comfort is ok
Don't use any emotion, just move through the motions, being present for the required actions and steps - rolling of eyes and tears are allowed

You've got a lot going on all at once, no wonder you feel down. That's a lot to be dealing with.

I'm just sending a bit of support your way really, I'm not too good at giving advice but wanted to say I'm listening.

Hope the meeting went as well as it could have done

So sorry things are difficult for you at the moment. Took guts to go to your work meeting when you weren’t feeling up to it.
Things might seem clearer when your husband is out of the way for a while. A glimpse of a calmer future?
Agree with a PP if bad headaches persist for your DS please seek an MRI.
Hope you can make the most of the nice weather this weekend.

Thank you all so much for your kind comments.

I have just got home. I managed the journey there and the meeting. On the train back I got off at New St because I just felt awful, spacey, totally disoriented and a bit sick. I sat outside the station for an hour and wondered whether to ring someone. I didn't know who. Maybe the Samaritans. But in the end I just sat there for an hour.

Glad to be home. Staying up to check DD gets back from work safely and then going to sleep.

Thanks for listening.

You should feel proud of yourself for getting to the meeting when you were feeling so bad.