EBSA

[AmberV]

EBSA. just seeing if anyone can offer advice. Children 10 and 12 . 10 year old not been to school since 2nd December. My 12 year old is on a reduced timetable but barely makes it in. Both extremely anxious since a traumatic event last may. I find it so stressful and just cannot see a way forward or know a way of dealing with it. I really worry for their future. My boy is due to start senior school in September and I have no idea if he will be able to cope. Any advice ? Has it worked out ok for anyone having been through it?

My son is also experiencing EBSA after a traumatic event 2yrs ago, he's been with CAHM's for about a year now having a combination of EMDR and talking therapy after a diagnosis of PTSD. He also has autism and medical conditions too. He's 11 and also due to start high school in September, currently he's only attending school 2hrs per day with an assistant and not spending any time in the classroom itself, his attendance score is 39%.

When this first started for us I found it a very lonely experience, I was made to feel that either I had to just force him into school or deregister him, but I have fought tooth and nail against both options. I also ended up starting a parents support group in my local area for those who's children were experiencing EBSA and it has been such a life line for myself and the other parents.

First steps would be seeking treatment for their anxiety and mental health. Learning can come later at any stage in life but mental health is more important. I'm not in England so here we don't have the threat of fines and court etc but if that is a big concern for you consider deregistering until mental health is more stable, they can always return in the future.

Thanks for your post. Would I be able to join your support group or is it just in your area? It’s an awful experience, you feel like a failure. Nothing you do or say makes any difference. He was under camhs but because court proceedings are ongoing they won’t treat him. I’m getting support but it feels like too little too late.

My support group is in northern Ireland and we meet on a monthly basis, but we also have a Facebook page (anxiety based school avoidance parent group) that you could join.

What a ridiculous reason to not treat a child's mental illness - court proceedings. Do school offer any counselling, or any local charities offering therapy? (If you Google your town name plus children charity therapy).

You are absolutely not a failure, you haven't done anything wrong, and nor has your children. Just keep that in the forefront of your mind.

Realisation14 I would love to join your support group if that’s ok. Could you DM me? I paid for private counselling for my son, my daughter was having camhs but that’s finished until after court so she’s back to school counsellor. My sons school kept labelling him as a school refuser, I couldn’t get it into their heads that it’s not that he doesn’t want to go to school , he just can’t cope with it, his school were useless, the head phoned me to have a go saying there’s nothing wrong with him! Literally no idea and my daughters school keeps putting it as unauthorised absence despite Camhs telling them she should be on reduced timetable. I despair sometimes.

Of course you can join, I sent you a private message on here. Some schools just refuse to accept that it's "can't, not won't". There is also another Facebook group which is UK wide called "not fine in school" which is a great support for parents.

There are some very good resources on the Anna Freud website, EBSA as it is termed is really an broad frame to talk about lots of different things that can result in a difficulty attending school. School itself holds a lot of experiences for us - learning, friendships, peer conflict, assessments etc each all can bring stressors as well as developmental opportunity. It requires alot of personal resources to navigate school so Its understandable when children and young people find their worlds rocked by an event or a series of events, school could be a difficult environment to go into everyday. When someone in authority says 'theres nothing wrong with them' I think they are speaking from a medical lens of a diagnosis - and this is linked to the organizing principles of school attendance in the UK which are located in legal frameworks. It is hard then to get everyone to think a bit broader about what might be going on. We tend to find the answers for unsual problems in unusual places.

thanks for this I’ll take a look