Would it be unreasonable to change my mind and leave teaching?

[Team187]

I'm feeling so so anxious about my work situation. I'm a teacher but I find it very stressful and leads to a lot of anxiety for me. I'm on meds. I plucked up the courage to hand in my notice. My dh said we can manage with me leaving financially while I look for something else and I can support him with his business. But then my head said what about if I offer this, that and the other to make things easier. So I fell into the trap and said ok then I will stay. But I really really don't want to. In reality, the challenges will still all be there. I'm well within the notice period to change my mind but I feel awful messing my school around. But Im sitting at home today spiralling. My heart is pounding and anxious thoughts are filling my head. My family are now also disappointed in me as I had left and then went back on the decision. I don't want to let them down but also worry about what my head will think and if this will impact me getting another job etc. There have been no issues with my performance etc. I am a good teacher in his eyes which is why he is keen to keep me I think. Would it be bad of me to change my mind again and make a final decision to leave? Im worried if I will get a bad reference for chopping and changing. Thank you for reading.

Make the decision that’s right for you. If you want to hand your notice in then do so. They’ll find a replacement.

Thank you. I know this is the logical answer. I just struggle so much with making decisions and can't bear to let people down.

Would I be foolish to tell my head I have anxiety? Will this affect jobs prospects?

So sorry you’re feeling like this. Life is too short. Teaching will never be less stressful, only ever more as the system becomes even more broken. Leave now and then you can get started on a new career that makes you happy.
Rather that than wait a few years and still come to same conclusion but after wasting time being unhappy.
Also anything could happen to family finances in future to make it harder to leave, at the moment you can afford a career change so go for it now!

Dont worry for a second what work will think.
You’re currently flooded with anxiety so will be full of ‘what if’ questions and fear but in reality in will all work out and life is much too short to be feeling like this.

Speak to your head today then it is done ☺️❤️

Such a thoughtful, kind response, thank you and I know you are right!

I was in a similar position to you but left after abuse from parents, and enormous neverending workload and a lack of any support from SLT. I felt so much better when I left and I was open and honest with the head, who also tried to convince me to stay.

Just be honest and say thank you for putting things in place to accommodate me staying but since that last discussion, my mental health had taken a hit and it is down to the decision to stay.

Just be honest and do what's right for you and your family.

Your head is unlikely to be thinking of your health. He or she will be thinking about the staffing gap for September...

So put yourself first.

You are unlikely to have trouble getting a new job in future if you want one. There's a huge shortage of teachers.

Take your time, look around, smell the flowers!

I left last summer and it was the best decision I made. I'm sleeping better. I'm not feeling nauseous anymore. I'm happier. I have more energy to play with my children. I'm cooking/cleaning/not living in squalor anymore. My chest pains have stopped. My bowls are back to normal. My hair's growing back. I can hold a conversation again.

It took leaving to realise how bad it had got. Still on meds but I actually feel human again. I needed 6 months to actually recover.

Oh bless you, I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences and the affects on your health. It is so reassuring to hear how well you feel now you have left!

Yes you are definitely right! It is the stress of filling another teaching gap that will be causing my head to beg me to stay. Then once I'm stuck, things will go back to how they have always been!

This is a great way of phrasing my feelings, thank you, and it is true my anxiety is through the roof since last week!

Thank you ❤️

I don’t understand this. My sister is a teacher and so are my two cousins, I’ve never heard them say anything so negative about the profession. Or such extreme comments as is read on here. Surely it’s not just the job that’s causing all the stress, must be other external factors!
try living with abuse or dealing with addiction on a daily basis! This is all nonsense in comparison!

1)It will be far harder for your school if you struggle through the rest of the year but are then unable to come back in September and go off sick , leaving them to find a replacement in a hurry.

2)You need to prioritise your own health. What they say about making sure you have your own life jacket on before you try to help others is very true.

3)Sticking to your resignation means you will have light at the end of the tunnel and will get to the end of the year, best for your self esteem and for your pupils.

4. And btw if your HT had been that concerned about your mental load they would have put in support long ago, not promised you some last minute scaffolding.

5. The stress levels of your job are not of your making and it isn’t your job to try to fix them by sacrificing your own wellbeing.

Why respond if this is 'nonsense' to you? What's the point? It isn't nonsense to me so there we are, even if I'm not being abused or suffering from addiction.

Thank you for your kind words.

Because most jobs are stressful. That’s life.

Good advice above.

The next time you feel pressured to make a decision (and aren't sure), tell the person you need some time to think about it and you'll get back to them.

I moved from mainstream to a specialist education health setting 7 years ago. I don't think I would ever go back.

Do what you would advise a good friend to do if they were describing the situation to you and were stressed even talking/thinking about their job.

Resign.