What helped you most while recovering from depression?

[MarmadukeM]

When recovering from depression what are some things that have really helped you?
I am thinking of trying to have a routine (until I go back to work)
was thinking of daily walk, cook something for tea, go to sauna(I have a membership) and reading/bath at night. Watching stuff on telly that’s an easy watch just to distract me really (can thought spiral quite easy 😖)
be grateful for anyone else’s tips as although I’m on some new meds they are going to take a few weeks to kick in so I’m trying to maximise recovery from other means as well.
thanks in a advance x

Divorcing exH? Maybe not quite what you were looking for.

Having easy-prep meals and an early night really helped me too.

Making plans to see friends/family, walking in nature, familiar music and TV shows. Avoiding triggers (mine was the news).

Meditation. I didn't really think it was for me, but it really really helped me. I hope you're feeling a bit better soon, OP.

Ha funnily enough yes me and husband have decided to divorce. It’s very recent, I have been upset about it and worried about how I’ll manage but ultimately I think our marriage has been kind of depressing the last few years x

I’m not great at that kind of thing but could give it a go again x

I’ve never taken time off work for it as going to work was the biggest thing that has helped me, a big distraction and getting out of the house.

I also forgot to say little projects like painting the shed a nice bright colour or doing some small jobs like weeding or baking a nice cake - small comforting tasks that you can do bit by bit. I hope you feel better soon xx

I’ve just returned to work after 5 months off with depression.

What helped me was not going more than 2-3 days without having something planned. Usually just coffee with friends. I couldn’t manage groups but had 2-3 friends whose houses I’d go to. Just a couple of hours, very low key.

It forced me to get dressed and leave the house, but with no pressure to look nice or “perform” in any way. I didn’t invite anyone to mine as I couldn’t handle the stress of it.

(Also decided to divorce!)

I joined a non-auditioning choir. The breathing exercises as part of the warm up, the concentration and focus (learning to tune in to other voices, learning to sing parts, learning to understand the music, breathing at the right time and in the right way, and so many other skills) took me right out of my ruminating head and gave me such a wonderful sense of well-being. It reconnected me with good function in my body and in my mind. Every week I knew that I would feel amazing at 9.30pm on Tuesday.

And let’s not forget the unquestioned acceptance of my voice. It did not matter one drop whether I could sing in tune. I could not. At least, not when I joined. But the entirely non-judgmental atmosphere enabled me to relax and learn. And my voice improved. I’m now a decent choral singer. I still make up something new when I warble unsupported, but I can sing reliably with other voices.

It makes me happy 😊

Lists - very very small simple lists.

Get our of bed - tick
make cup of tea -tick
have shower - tick

etc etc

I found exercise, particularly outdoors. Having a dog is a good reason to go outside and walk. She didn’t care what I looked like, or if it was raining, or any of my other excuses. She just wanted to walk. I learnt that I wanted to walk too.

What really helped me was cold water swimming and routines.
I remained at work because I knew I’d struggle without a focus (everyone is different, and the reasons for depression vary, I knew was specific thing triggered mine - it was nothing to do with work) and keeping myself actively engaged with working was a good distraction.
Getting up and dressed and out of the house for work 3 days a week, basic things like tooth brushing which I’ll admit did slide some mornings if I wasn’t leaving the house, showering which I sometimes felt was a real challenge so again was grateful to ‘have to be at work’ so I was forced to be clean.
the cold water swimming was life changing and I still go, all through the year - helps keep me ticking over.
Whatever you do I hope it’s helpful for you and that you are on the way to recovering. 💐

Swimming.

Reminding myself that being sad is normal. If I felt a bit down or tearful I would instantly start to think that the very bad depression was returning and I'd never feel better, especially when I was lowering the antidepressant dose. Acknowledging that sometimes I will feel sad and it will pass stopped me spiralling.

Gardening - especially at this time of year. So satisfying pulling up weeds, pruning away old stuff and seeing the difference afterwards, watching flowers bloom, smell of cut grass etc.

Honestly, I would not put too much pressure on yourself to feel good and enjoy things because when you’re depressed (or recovering), if you can’t, you can’t and putting too much pressure on it can sort of make you feel like you’re failing if you’re not up to it or it doesn’t feel how you hoped it would.
You can’t force yourself to feel better. You have to accept how you feel.
If you feel up to it, I would take it one day at a time trying to look after yourself as best you can and making time to do things you enjoy whenever you can.

Swimming, routine. And the free self care finch app!

I'll let you know - 40yrs in so far!

Make sure you don't have any underlying conditions as well.

I agree with the meditation - see if your gym membership have a guided one. I find it more effective when listening to someone.

For me: walking, running , reading and recently knitting/crochet (took me a while to grasp it which at times was frustrating)
Human contact too and comedy TV (Motherland, Gavin and Stacey, easy stuff)
Take care

My dog

What really helped me was having a structured routine. Doesn’t have to be anything too taxing. Shower every morning, 3 healthy meals a day at the same time, getting outside for a walk, as you suggested, especially if you can walk in nature, doing some gentle exercise like yoga or swimming, 15 minutes of mindfulness meditation each day. Then telly at the end of the day to reward yourself..because you deserve it - when you’re in the depths of depression that simple routine can be impossible to stick to. If you’re able to do it that’s a sign you’re getting better and also putting a lot of effort in. But also if you have days where you can’t face getting out of your PJs and need to stay in bed watching tv all day, that’s ok too, don’t beat yourself up about it, you’re recovering from an illness just like any other.

The second thing that dramatically improved (I’d even go so far as to say massively contributed to curing) my depression was cutting off anyone in my life that brought negativity to my life or made me feel anxious or that I had complicated feelings about. For example I had one friend where I felt I was always making all the effort with the friendship, she never seemed to care about my life or gave a shit when I was very ill with depression but stayed friends with her cos we’d known each other forever, and we did have fun together most of the time. However all those times she’d hurt me, even in a minor way added up and contributed to me feeling shit about myself. Another friend would always take the ‘banter’ too far and I sometimes felt she was making fun of me, always brushed it off and told myself I was ridiculous for being over sensitive etc. But they all added up too, and contributed to a general feeling of not being good enough, which in turn contributed to my depression. I was always scared to cut people that I had a generally good relationship with off, in case I ended up lonely. Well one day I thought fuck it, I don’t need anyone in my life who doesn’t 100% respect me in the same way I do them and I’m going to put myself first from now on. So I cut them off and I wish I’d done it earlier. I have far fewer friends now but my life is so much more peaceful, simpler and not filled with complicated emotions, and the friends & family I do have never make me feel bad about myself. This was a bigger part of ‘downscaling’ my life, putting less pressure on myself, living a much quieter and simpler (and probably much more boring) life, but I realised that’s what I had to do to stop my depression being triggered. I’m the most content with life I’ve ever been now. I have a simple but enjoyable job, a few quality friends, I go camping and for walks with my kids rather than big days out with other mums, I go to the gym 3 times a week and when I have time to myself I read and watch tv rather than doing lots of socialising. It works for me. Sorry for the long post & I realise you might not relate to it but it’s just made such a huge difference I thought it might help, or help someone else who sees it

Redecorating. Fresh colours, a house full of flowers and music. Flinging the windows open and letting sunshine and fresh air in.😎

This also involved leaving my ex and his horrible dreary house, that I wasn't allowed to do anything to and where he would switch off any music, and taking back control of my life as well as my creative freedom.

Seeing my GP & her prescribing medication & signing me off from work when I had a complete breakdown which included suicidal ideation.

Once the meds helped stabilise me then I continued to improve with exercise, a healthy diet, meditation and rest.

I was at a point where I could not even concentrate for five minutes, struggled to eat and sleep so it was really bad.

I also received counselling through the NHS.

But I also had to make long term life changes such as leaving my toxic work environment and moving out of a big city and cutting out of my life anyone who brought negativity to it.

I also had to accept that it takes time to recover from a breakdown that physically and mentally brought me to my knees and that depression is something that needs ongoing care and management.

Yes, culling toxic people (when it is family and you can't do this, heavily minimise contact instead!)
Boundaries and assertion with people helped too !
I am less of a people pleaser

Yeah I wish I’d never put up with their toxic bullshit in the first place! A lot harder to see it when you’re in it though. One of the biggest triggers to cut them out was when I realised my kids were seeing some of this behaviour eg. A friend was always half an hour late when we met up, and she’d always make my DS and I go to her or near where she lived (we lived 30 min apart) and never came to ours. One day while driving there my 4 yo DS said “why do we always have to go to ….friends’s name’s….house, why does she never come to ours?” I realised I didn’t have a good answer and the thought of role modelling being disrespected and letting my son see me putting up with this behaviour from someone who he understood to be my friend enraged me. That was the turning point to cut that particular friend off.