DH is psychiatrist diagnosed with EUPD and cPTSD. Serious childhood abuse. He tried to commit suicide in 2019 and was identified as being very high risk for self harm when agitated as he is so impulsive.
FF to now; he is self employed and about to lose his business because he simply hasn’t been coping. Possible bankruptcy. I am applying for divorce because his verbal abuse is so bad, SS involvement last year due to his mental health/verbal abuse (2 DCs 4 and 8).
Here’s my problem: I’ve lived with his MH issues for 10 years but never seen him genuinely delusional. It would be easy to dismiss it as gaslighting - which is what I have been doing up until now - but I’ve realised today he truly believes it and has genuinely lost touch with reality. He is convinced I have never worked a day in my life (2 degrees and a professional career before DCs plus p/t since); that I have never cooked him a meal; that I have never contributed financially in ten years: that I have been emotionally abusing him for ten years. All of that fits into the abuser/gaslighting except that it’s becoming obvious he really believes it and he has been equally deluded in the reasons for the dispute with his main client. He wrote his client (who is a seasoned and clever professional) a long and rambling diatribe about how it was all the client’s fault (totally untrue) and in his response the client specifically described DH’s response as “delusional”, which it most certainly was. He also had a rant at my DM this evening. Two weeks ago he told me he can’t stand the sight of me and I make him want to punch me in the face. He has never, ever threatened physical violence before.
My issue is that he can appear pretty lucid when he wants to and I have had major struggles in the past to get any help with him. He wasn’t sectioned after the suicide attempt, he assured CPN he wouldn’t try again so they sent him home to me with Home Crisis Team whilst I had an 18 month old DS. Most of what he says, if he says it calmly, seems plausible on face value. It’s always been a feature of his illness that when he goes into an episode he gets increasingly hyperactive and tries to control everything - even down to changing the temperature on the oven the moment he comes through the door when I’m cooking dinner then telling me he has to do everything the moment he gets in - and gets very, very verbally aggressive. He also gets faster and faster until he’s almost hyperactive. Tonight he has seriously scalded his hand because he was in a hurry to drain pasta for the meal I was in the middle of cooking when he came in - then he screamed at me telling me the scald was my fault because I’ve never cooked him a meal in his life and he has to do all the dangerous things like draining boiling water.
I’ve seen most of this before but never this level of concerted and ongoing delusion. What do I do? 111 won’t do anything because he’s not willing to talk to them and not an active danger. Sorry for long post and thank you. He’s asleep at the moment.