Feeling Desperate

[Hicksyxo]

I dont know if anyone has ever felt the same but I'm experiencing severe PPA PPD and POCD

I feel absolutely hopeless, I'm 5 weeks postpartum and have been having extreme intrusive thoughts, constant panic attacks where my skin burns whenever I look at my baby and aversions to everyone, when anyone wants to hold my baby I get hot but it switches and I can't look at my baby because I panic. I know I love him so much but I'm so overwhelmed to the point I don't know if I can do this much longer. Has anyone had the same? Does it get better?? My husband is so supportive as well as my family, I'm sleeping etc and I just cant shake this guilt. I'm so scared

I'm on 20mg of citalopram and take diazpam as well

Thanks in advance x

Sending hugs. But do contact your midwife or health visitor or GP asap - help us available and you don't have to suffer like this.

Theyre all aware, just keep telling me to push on and that I'm not a danger as baby is okay, I still try my best to make him happy as it's not his fault:(

What do you need?
consider taking time with just the people who don’t add pressure when they visit or just your husband and baby for a little while. Just to rest & settle your emotions.

You need to tell them about your extreme intrusive thoughts - they put you and your baby in danger. If necessary, get your husband to ring 999 and tell them you are having a mental health crisis.