Catastrophizing

[Socrossrightnow]

I’m 50 years old and always lived with anxiety since being a teenager. I can’t help Catastrophizing everything especially when it comes to my children. My 19 year old son and has been through a rough couple of years following his Dads/my husbands cancer diagnosis but is in a much better place and is looking forward ti going on holiday in the next few weeks to Tenerife with a mate. I’m absolutely terrified but haven’t told him as I want him to enjoy it. I’m running through every possible scenario in my head including becoming ill, accident ( he mentioned hiring electric scooters), drugs spiking or alcohol poisoning, drowning. I’m getting so anxious and waking in the night in a blind panic. I’m also suffering daily either generalised health anxiety. I’ve been on sertraline in the past but stopped after 5 years as I started getting such a fast heart rate and bad palpitations which stopped when I came off the tablets. I just want to stop my son going as the overwhelming fear but I know I can’t . How do others cope?

Practical question - does he have very good travel insurance?

@Lactoorsupp thanks for checking. DH is sorting this ds as we speak. Will make sure it’s a good one

Firstly your DS is an adult. I know we never stop worrying about our DC but he is now responsible for what he chooses to do and you can’t wrap him up in cotton wool or pass on your anxiety to him. Have you any reason to believe he will behave badly ? Have you had any counselling or therapy for your general and health anxiety. I would suggest you get in touch with your GP as it doesn’t sound like coming off your meds is the answer. It’s stopped the heart palpitations but your anxiety sounds sky high. Some talking therapy / CBT and possible switch of meds might help curb your anxieties. It’s difficult but you need to wish him well and wave him off with a smile. The situations you describe are actually fairly rare occurrences (but sadly they make the news not the 99.999% of holidays which occur without incident) and the chances are he will have a fabulous career free time.

What have you tried so far, apart from the sertraline, to deal with the anxiety? Did anything help?

Also do you know why it began in your teens? Finding the cause is the best way to resolving it.

My son went on a lads holiday last year (first one) and survived . He was 18.

All I said to him was -
Don't go near water after drinking / Don't be doing any acrobatics on the balcony .
They are adults, and all we can do is hope they have taken on board some of our guidance.
Yes, travel insurance is a MUST.
I sent him the odd message on Whatsapp - just a general 'How's it going?'
He replied with very brief thumbs up !

I think you’d benefit from cognitive behavioural therapy to address the catastrophising - it’s linked to generalised anxiety

I am prone to catastrophising - it’s like a superstition; if I expect the worst, then somehow this guards against the worst happening. If I follow any other thought process, and allow myself not to worry, then I’m somehow being cavalier and this could invite misfortune.

The time I really worry most, is when I have nothing to worry about.

To explain - my life was in a really good place, then a disaster struck out of the blue, totally unexpected. Then I just got back on my feet and something else awful happened. All this was bad enough, and then the third thing happened. Ever since then I have worried about a further disaster, but thankfully it hasn’t happened (yet). So my brain has decided that more worrying means less disasters.