Childhood abuse that has been kept secret for years. Please talk to me.

[Upsydaisy1]

Is there anyone out there that can help me, although I don't really want to go into too much detail here.

My beloved DH told me last year that he had suffered sexual abuse between the ages of eight and fifteen. He had kept it concealed for 30 years! He has also suffered the most dreadful physical and emotional abuse of which I've known about for years.

Since this all came to light life has gone from bad to worse and he has left me and our beautiful dcs, 4 and 1. He is in a bad way and I am just devestated by the situation we now find ourselves in. I just don't know which way to turn. Until last year we had a wonderful life together, been together since we were in our teens and we were the envy of all who knew us. Obviously those that know he has gone don't know the real reason and must never know, which apart from my mum leaves me no-one else to talk to.

As I sit here typing this I can't stop crying for my broken little family and I really am hoping that there is someone out there who hs either experienced a similar situation or has an understanding of it.

I seem to spend all day being keeping it together for the children or at work or when I see dh and then when the children go to bed I am alone with my thoughts and tears!

HI, just be there for him. Get him to go to his gp and get some antidepressants - it helped me deal with it all better - had similar myself. Also counselling/cbt or something of the sort. Sounds like he's having a bit of a breakdown, but it's important for him to do something proactive about it - just wallowing in it but not moving forward is tempting but not very helpful! He may need a huge push to get that far, but you're probably the only person who can get him to do all this. As for you, just be patient, try to get him to do something about it all. TBH, his past is probably the main reason that your marriage is where it is - it's very hard to get over it all and move on - it can come in waves, and just have a really bad few months, and it all affects you in such funny subconscious ways that you don't even make the connections. Best of luck!