Struggling so badly with it all.

[justgivemeabreak]

I'm teetering in the brink of a breakdown. Struggling with work stress, a profoundly disabled child and lack of sleep. I've spent most of the day being physically sick and I don't know whether I'm actually ill or if it's just stress causing it. I genuinely don't know how much longer I can go on with it all.

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Do you have anyone in your life who you can talk to about this?

I’m so sorry. Please reach out to social services for more support for yourself and your child

I am trying to talk to my mum, but she doesn't really get it. I am most likely neuro divergent, although I'm not diagnosed (child has a dual neuro divergent diagnosis). I'm in mid perimenopause too, which is making it all worse. I usually cope through exercise but even that's not helping just now. I do get some support for my child but I never get a proper, prolonged break and I feel like I am drowning right now.

Work is the biggest struggle at the moment. My workload is too high and as a result in rushing, making mistakes, working on my non work days to try and keep up. I don't know how much longer I can continue like this. I have been trying to get to sleep for the past hour but I can't get my brain to turn off the worry.

I'm busting myself to try and keep this job because I know I probably can't get another one as I'm so limited to when I can work.

I'm so sorry to hear this OP. Unless you are a surgeon or equivalent job, take some time off sick...no one will die, but you are becoming ill. You'll be forced to in the end so might as well be now. Hugs xx

Totally agree - get to your GP and get signed off. You can usually self certify for a few days which should be enough time to get an appointment.

You are ill and it’s perfectly reasonable to take time off to rest and recover.

Workload etc is NOT your problem it’s the company’s / your manager’s.

Just another voice saying work isn't worth it. Prioritise your health and wellbeing and in turn your son's. It's usually 7 days you can self certify for. Assuming you work mon-fri, it would be mon-sun that you self-certify and then get a fit note for the following week and as long as you need.

Absolutely agree, it's time for a sick line.

Thanks everyone. I'm trying to carry on best I can. I'm trying not to blame myself for everything and doing my best to concentrate on tasks individually. I'm definitely not firing on all cylinders but I have improved a little.

Does your work provide an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) or something similar where you can contact for free advice and referral for free counselling sessions? If so, I think it’s worth while getting some advice on the best way to broach this with your employer about the unreasonable amount of work you’re left with, and maybe also speak to ACAS on where you stand and your employee rights, that might give you some reassurance and hopefully the confidence to push back with work in the right way. Also getting therapy may help as life seems very overwhelming at the moment and having someone to talk to and process your worries will help. It also won’t be a bad thing having it on your record that you’ve sought help for mental health struggles, just in case.
There isn’t an overnight fix, but you can certainly take steps that will help you feel more in control and on top of things, like therapy and even small things in the moment like conscious deep breathing to calm feelings of panic.
You’re doing amazing, you’re a wonderful mum working hard to provide for your family and never giving up despite how hard things have become for you. Protect your mental and physical health at all costs, and focus only on the things you can control… I hope things get better for you soon x