My girl distress

[Thelonelypotter]

There's alot going on for my 13 Yr old dd atm. She feels sick most of the time and despite various tests and 2 apps at the Dr's, she's no better. We're moving house soon, her dad's moved out and is chaotic and I have a new partner. Friendships at school have been up and down. Its obvious to me that its stress and anxiety but she won't talk to me about how she feels because she blames me for all the upheaval. I don't know how to help her except keeping open about how we feel generally. There is counselling at school which I'll ask about now but I know she'll be negative about it. I don't know what to do.

How long ago did her dad move out? Any siblings?

Look at what you can control? Does she know about your new partner? If her Dad is only just moving out it will be a lot for her and you can keep them seperate for a while

What are the time lines around : moving house, dad moving out, you having a new partner?

Thats a hell of a lot all at once for anyone to cope with let along a young teenager with all the usual puberty/school/teen drama going on.

You can’t control school/puberty/teen life but you do have control over involving her in your love life, how much visibility she has of her dads chaos and potentially timing around house moves.

Her dad's lived here in my house for years because he's ill and wouldn't sort out somewhere else to go. In the end I just told him to go but what I need to know is how to support her best. She won't talk to me about how she feels atm. Does anyone have suggestions about how to keep conversations open or how to start if she's closed off to me please?

No siblings and I feel like we're abit isolated in a way partly because living with her ill dad has been awful

Has she got emetophobia?

Put your daughter first.
Sorry but all this is too much for a 13 year old.
Her biological father is ill.
You are moving and there's a new fella.
My daughter was seriously unhappy from 13-18 and were a stable family unit.
To a kid new isn't necessary better.
I'd try therapy for you both or a trusted family friend.

We'll wait forever for a cahms appt. I'll ring a parentline tomorrow to try and find someone we can meet faster. Don't want to go down deadends with therapy though, there's alot of advice that I'm already doing.
I can't afford my property on my own so a move is necessary and will improve things for us especially her

why have you got a new partner? do you not think you should be prioritising you kid? poor soul is stressed out her head and you're presumably not as available as you used to be because you’re seeing some guy, how’s that helping her?