Struggling with it all

[Princess90x]

Sorry might be the wrong place to post my apologies. Just my Mind is in the gutter, hellish time after leaving cheating ex so much has gone on since end of November 2024 I just can't seem to get my head around it all everything has all took a massive hit especially when he's with the ow (she knew about me when i was still with ex didn't give a flying monkey she even cuddled me a week before I found out 🤣)

Ex works away for over half the month so sees our 11 & 2 year old on his off rota for 8 nights split 4 (3 back to me) 4 this is all done via court because he wanted them for his own version of 50/50 and i refused especially when the youngest was only just over 1 when it all got settled in may 2025. Then he goes back to work with his fiance (yes they are engaged now) I keep trying to focus on myself and children or see family and friends do other stuff when I can to try take my mind off it all but then I will see a text message especially off the children’s soon to be stepmum like when it was the eldests birthday a week ago saying happy birthday your dad deserves a badge for keeping you alive this long...
It really makes me angry but I'm trying not to react or send any messages just document it but then it annoys me that I'm documenting it because if I was to say anything to ex he just ignores me he only messages if he wants extra time during his off rota. I dont even know where im going with all of this like I said my mind is 🫠 I know what i really do need and thats probably extremely good talking therapy to unpack it all

firstly don't beat yourself up, these men are arseholes. and you have nothing to feel guilty or bad for, he chose to cheat etc. i am spiritual and know things and i promise you karma always comes around for people who do others wrong. in regards to the other woman, i would ask your son how he feels about receiving those sort of messages, as she is sending them to him, its about how he feels, it must be frustrating as she sounds very manipulative and immature. but truth is she feels intimidated by you. and those comments are to try and make you feel shit, which actually means she feels shit herself. good people don't do that to others. Always document anything they say incase needed in court etc (depending how manipulative they are) get some counselling and the main thing is to learn to not give a dam. find joy and laughter in each day. your worth so much more than these lying cheating wastes of space. xx

To be fair I'm trying to stay in my lane and will only raise something if needs be maybe when I've raised things she hasn't liked it. ie ex and her was co sleeping with our toddler & she was kissing and cuddling them and the eldest felt uncomfortable so I said it was all inappropriate and take his feelings in to consideration and he said it was all made up by our eldest to get his own way but that was in august last year I'm trying to keep my mouth shut as I know ex makes her do everything like he did me but he has tried to intimidate me when I try to place boundaries or go through my parents or my best friend when I grey rock him my best friend doesn't entertain him for what he has done (he can't use other friends as I took a huge step back and removed all mutual friends as he did a massive smear campaign and tbf none of them reached out and asked how i was either so in my mind they wasn't my friends so it was worth removing them from my life) I know I'm not perfect never will be but I just feel like he's done enough why get her involved to give little digs about him keeping our children alive when he isn’t here for 6 and a half months of the year, I haven't said nothing to the eldest about the message as it took my best friend telling the ex 7 months after the break up that I should be able to go on the eldests phone to try to safeguard him so he got the eldest to tell him the pass code and then send it to me via talking parents, if I say anything the eldest will know I've been on his phone and will change his password so I don't ask how he's feeling in that aspect I don't ask what he's done during his dads time just if he's had a good time. But I feel like I'm getting pushed out of our children's life's and made out to be causing trouble as all my feelings and emotions are being dramatic 🙄 sure 13 years of having to keep everything bottled up was dramatic i forgave him the first time he got caught when our eldest was a baby I wanted to forgive him again but he blamed his cheating all on me again using the same excuse so that would make anybody argumentive especially after having another child 😂🤣 thing is I want that man to be happy as I certainly couldn't clearly make him happy so I don't get what there problem is they've won in my mind, I'm stuck doing the day to day and they can disney parent our children and swan around doing as they like they've got the money + friends and children etc I don't 🤷🏼‍♀️ xx

believe me reading your post, i can see he is a narcissist and has emotionally manipulated you for years. you would never make him happy, as you are not the problem, he is. notice you said the new partner does everything he wants, guarantee he will do the same to her in a few years. you sound like you are clued up and really doing your best, stand up for yourself, get support, get counselling. i would just say to your son if you are ever unhappy about their treatment of him, that you are there for him and even if you dont address it with them. help your kids find ways to cope with their behaviour x