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No sex drive due to family trauma

1 reply

Jasmine878 · 22/03/2026 21:16

Hello
I’ve recently worked out that I have no sex drive anymore due to feeling guilty and sad about my second child being born with a congenital heart defect. I think that my weird brain is associating sex with when we conceived my son who I feel I let down because he was a surprise and so I hadn’t prepared for pregnancy yet. Nothing major but things like I was underweight and hadn’t been taking prenatal vitamins etc.
Every time I am intimate with my husband now I feel like bursting into tears because I just feel terrible that when we had sex the time we conceived my son it possibly led to him having his CHD (although doctors have told me nothing we did caused it).

I know the suggestions will be to go to therapy but I honestly don’t know if I can do it anymore. I’ve been having therapy for years to help me get over the traumatic death of my mum, then to process the trauma surrounding my son’s birth and surgery.
Im so tired of therapy (although it has done me wonders I just don’t know if I have it in me anymore).

My husband is a really loving and understanding person but he’s already had to deal with a lot and support me with so much, I don’t want to burden him with this too. I want to try and sort it out myself.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 22/03/2026 21:57

You don't have to process or relive trauma to resolve it; it's in your head all the time which is why the nightmares, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts are so distressing to you. Once the emotional links are broken it's simply part of your past.

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