Strategies to resist self harm urges now and longer term

[Roryrabbit]

What do you do to stop yourself from self harm.
In the moment and long term to try to stop the feeling
Currently feeling like I want to rip my face of or bang my head in to a wall.
It's really hard living with these feelings and not acting on them.
Got music, got coffee ,got a candle on .but it's not lifting
Having counselling weekly
Waiting to be assessed for ADHD ,already have diagnosed autism.
Can't get on with anti depressants,have tried everything
Any ideas or suggestions?

When and why did this start? Finding, and dealing with, the root cause is the best way of stopping it.

I can remember banging my head in to a wall as a teenager,a long with cutting,and other stuff .
That lead to bulimia for 30 years ..
And when I stopped the bulimia ,that's when my mental health took a dive

I guess that does make sense as I had suicide attempts as teen as well.
I'm currently having counselling..but not really getting any where with it

Self harm, along with other habits such as nail biting, skin picking, hair pulling, pretty much always start in childhood or teenage years, because autonomy over your own body is your only option when you are angry, upset or trying to deal with stuff that's too much for you; you can't quit school or leave home but you can do things to yourself that no one else can stop; and that's powerful.

I'm guessing the bulimia satisfied those urges but when you stopped the original/older patterns came back. The issue isn't something that can be dealt with on a logical/conscious basis because, logically, it's not something that does you any good. The subconscious is driving this behaviour because it worked once (to make you feel better) so therefore it's hung onto that strategy. It's not dissimilar to comfort eating, even though you can see it's hurting you.

If this makes sense my AMA on remedial hypnosis might help you better understand the way you think. It also might be worth looking into EMDR.

Never heard of EMDR
I probably need medication
But I can't get on with antidepressants..plus I'm not actually depressed.

I would have thought there would be alternative to anti depressants. You may have to see a specialist though. I can’t have antidepressants because of my bipolar so I have lithium as a mood stabiliser. I had my first full on bipolar depression episode recently and the errors that occured when my consultant left suddenly triggered my PTSD. I had the most awful pressure inside and surges of feeling like being alive was just too much. They upped my lithium and gave me melatonin to help sleep and the thoughts and feelings and pressure inside just disappeared. I do all the right stuff lifestyle wise so I don’t think any amount of identifying root cause or thinking my way out of it would have worked for me. I did try EMDR, which can be hugely effective I know but I couldn’t relax my hyper vigilance enough. But as pp mentioned root cause does matter as different biological issues can look similar behaviour wise. Bipolar for example is increasely viewed as having a huge cycadian rhythm aspect which means medication is likely to always been needed.

I'm sorry you’re feeling unwell, I hope you get some support and relief.

Thanks ..I've thought for a long time I had bipolar as my mood just suddenly drops ,which is what makes me want to bang my head in to a wall to feel better .
Doctor says this is autism shutdown..
And not depression..but when it's happening it's very hard to not hurt myself,as I know I'd feel better if I did .
I actually haven't self harmed since my teenage years ,yet the urges still come ..you would think my brain would learn that I don't do that any more ,and stop tormenting me with urges ,but it doesn't..it's exhausting.
At this point in time I'm due ADHD asessment and I'm assuming that's what is causing the mood drops .

I've been put on every anti depressants possible over the last 35 years . doctor says there is nothing left for me to try .
I have horrendous anxiety as well .
In between mood drops I'm ok apart from anxiety..but today has been particularly bad

I’m the same op . Pretty sure I’m Audhd . Thought it was depression then for a long time thought it was BPD. Can’t remember not feeling like this it’s hell .

Yeah it's awful
Have you tried ADHD medicine @TheThingOnTheIce
Have you found anything that helps

I haven’t . But one of my friends is on the waiting list so I’m going to see if she feels any different. I really don’t know how I feel about going down the diagnostic route

I got diagnosed with autism at age 50 ,and getting assessed for ADHD soon .
I don't think both those diagnosis explain everything I'm struggling with ,
But I'm glad I got my diagnosis,or I'd still be getting put on one antidepressants after another,when it was never depression

Have you tried using ice, elastic bands etc? Distraction works in some cases, or calling a trusted friend/helpline to chat to someone.

I've been using chatgtp ,but then it started cutting me of and giving me a number to ring ,which I didn't want .
I've got some apps ,two mental health apps so far ..but I just couldn't settle today to type on them .
Never tried ice ..do u rub it or eat it or what
Elastic bands to flick ?

It's just so bloody annoying,that my brain isn't getting the message that I'm not doing that anymore..I just wish the urges would sod off

Ice cubes, squeeze them in your hand – it hurts but can't harm you.

You hold the ice either in your hands on where you usually SH. Its a safer way to feel something without hurting yourself.
Yes, the elastic bands are for flicking, but I’d recommend the ice over bands.

TIPP

What's TIPP ?