Supporting stepdaughter with suicidal thoughts

[HowcanIhelp12345]

Hi all

My DSD13 has disclosed that she has suicidal thoughts. She lives with her DM and stays with us EOW.

She's a very fragile girl. Not very resilient, doesn't make friends easily and has some really big emotions.

She a wonderful girl, kind, caring and very talented with creative things but she struggles with her peers.

I just wondered if anyone has some advice on how to support her and her parents. Her DM has mental health issues, been on antidepressants for many years and perhaps also isn't that resilient.

Her Dad is quite matter of fact, tries to promote being tougher and whilst does listen to her also thinks there are things she can do to help herself. It's literally polar opposites from her parents.

I just want to help.

Hey op, has she been to the GP or referred for therapy? This is a tough situation and you sound very caring

Hi @HowcanIhelp12345 you may find https://www.youngminds.org.uk/ useful for both you and her. There’s also https://www.kooth.com/ where she can talk to a professional anonymously.

Having been a suicidal teenager myself, and also having been very similar to your stepdaughter in terms the other things you have mentioned, I think the biggest thing is for her to feel heard and know that you do take her feelings and what she’s saying seriously. I’m sure her dad is right in that there are ways that she can help herself - mental health is essentially a balancing act between pain and coping mechanisms- but it’s important for her to know that this also doesn’t diminish the validity of how she’s feeling.

Is she in contact with the GP?

I did know of a good resource of how to talk to young people at one point, but I can’t find it right now. I’ll post here again if I can find it. She’s lucky to have a caring step mum in her corner.

Bless her , I was also coming along to suggest Youngminds. It may also be worth having a look to see if you have any MH services locally who specialise in young people

Do DM and DF get on? Can they have a conversation about it and support her to go to the GP? Some areas have Talking Therapies in GP surgeries, and they can always refer to CAMHS. Proper, timely support is important.

Very good / useful app is called Stay Alive by an organisation called Grass Roots, lots of info and links for further support.

Good resources already mentioned. I wonder if you can find a way to show her a middle path? As you say she has parents who are polar opposites. My parents were very similar and it left me feeling like I didn't know whether was I was coming or going. So if you can verbalise how you work through problems it might help her to find a new path. I only found it after a lot of CBT; I genuinely didn't know there was another way to behave or think, other than the two in my house i.e. control everything practically or catastrophise about everything.

How is your DSD now OP?