Professional photos have triggered body dysmorphia feelings, how do I cope?

[DeepRubySwan]

I am pretty sure I have body dysmorphia and pretty severe body confidence issues. Does anyone else struggle with this? I just had some boudoir photography shots taken that I paid $300 for which included hair and makeup and a Photoshoot. Just got back from the photo viewing and my god I feel so awful. This was supposed to make me feel better about myself and I feel absolutely devastated. I didn't want to purchase any of them but had to choose one for a free print.

I just think I look deformed, fat, old, ugly. My nose looks so crooked and my face everything about it just looks so awful. I included some of the photo here so you can see what I mean. I'll take them down soon but no one I know uses MN anyway. I felt so bad at the viewing. The designer was so excited to show me the images and I was just speechless (in a bad way). I don't know how to get past this.

You don't look any of those things. You look beautiful and stunning.

I would definitely look into what help is available for body dysmorphia.

I think that type of photoshoot is just going to encourage hyper focus on looks - you are so much more than just your meat suit. This is not about what you look like, it is about what you feel like and your focus needs to be on your self esteem, not on trying to control how you look through the medium of make up and soft filters.

What do you love doing, what makes your heart sing, what brings you true joy? Find a way to do more of that.

You can't even see your body really and the photo is blurred so we can't see your nose or anything else in detail.
I don't understand how you thought having photos taken would help with confidence? No one is perfect looking and life's too short to spend time worrying about it. Im sure you look absolutely fine. Try to concentrate on the important things in life!

Hi OP, it seems to me that you are posting on here for reassurance and validation. It sounds like this is also why you commissioned boudoir shots, because you need external validation to feel better about yourself. This is no way to live a life. I would suggest seeking therapy.

Is this a joke?

The photo is blurry and I agree with PP that you have posted because you are craving external validation.

Are you getting counselling for your MH issues?

I agree that the issue is so much focus on your body. If you didnt care about how you look this wouldnt bother you. No photoshoot is EVER going to make you feel better. Im sorry. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world (which is a subjective title btw) and would still never know it.

Great photos, lovely shoot. Now move on and work out what else is in your life as I promise there’s more to you, even if it feels scary to unpack that right now.

I think you need to find something else to focus your mind on other than how you look. It's not healthy, and you will forever be looking at things you wish looked a bit different. And it will get worse astound get older. Learn to appreciate other things about yourself.

You are very lovely - try to accept that you can't see your self properly and move on

When did you start feeling this way? Do you know why it started?