please help with breastfeeding question

[pregnabrain]

Hi there

Am nearly 2 weeks post-birth with dd2 and suffering from horrible anxiety / insomnia / depression.

I managed to breastfeed dd1 for 14 months and felt really good about it, but didn't feel mentally like I do now.

Am mix feeding dd2 (dh is doing bottles at night) and it's been going ok but today has been really bad. No let-down and she's been fussing at the breast. Ended up giving her a bottle.

I'm in a dilemma.

Do I continue trying to breastfeed even though it's increasing my anxiety when it doesn't go well? It makes me so happy when it goes right. And I'm scared that, if I stop, i might feel worse (plus all the inevitable guilt to deal with).

Or do i stop breastfeeding in the hope that a) my hormones will go back to normal more quickly and help get rid of this horrendous PND and b) i won't confuse the poor little lamb any more?

Sorry if this is unclear - am struggling to make sense at the moment.

Hi pregnabrain, I'm sorry you feel so low just now. There are so many people on MN who will know just how you feel, not only with the depression, but also the anxiety that goes with bfing not going well. I suspect you may end up with a real mix of PoVs - one that says your health is the most important thing, a happy mum=happy baby, if bfing isn't making you happy stop; and the other PoV which is that bfing has been shown to reduce duration of PND, that it's not going well because the bottles are confusing the issue, and that you may feel worse if you stop etc

What you really need (IMhumbleO) is to talk to a real person. One of the helplines, or your HV (if she's any good at BFing advice), a bf buddy if you have access to one. You need to work out why it hasn't been gong so well in the first place, get your latch checked, and so on; maybe by seeing if there is something fixable, you may find the decision easier IYSWIM

Bfing helpines: #
Breastfeeding Supportlines
National Breastfeeding Helpline 0844 20 909 20

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers helpline 08444 122 949

Breastfeeding Network Supporterline: 0844 412 4664 Breastfeeding Network Drugline: 0844 412 4665

La Leche League Telephone Helpline: 0845 120 2918

National Childbirth Trust Breastfeeding line: 0870 444 8708

Hunker's website

If you aren't doing any night feeds at two weeks then you won't be mixed feeding for much longer, in all probability. I guess the issue is, do you want to carry on BF? If you do then you might want to contact a BF helpline to talk things through.

Are you getting any RL help for your anxiety etc? Maybe once you have got some help sorted there you will be in a position to think more clearly about your feeding choices. You have to take care of yourself. Good luck

hi there and thanks for the advice / numbers

i am getting loads of support in RL - am being seen every day for my mental state.

I have also seen amazing bf expert, who gave me instructions for latch / lazy feeding etc but i just sense that, if i don't feed her full time, my milk will dwindle and she'll get confused...

but the only way i can vaguely handle the days is if i sleep at night.

what a horrible nightmare.

You can only do what you can do pregnabrain. Can you manage one night feed, or at least a feed late on?

I am really glad you are getting some help with your anxiety etc. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Thanks for your support.

Managed to breastfeed at 3am-ish last night, although no let-down so ended up giving bottle after. Maybe my boobs aren't used to producing at that time and that's why no let-down?

Had good supply for first feed this morning, and then poor for late morning feed (took 15 mins of her suckling to get a let-down).

Then midwife came over and said all's well with her weight gain so, of course, I've been in a better mood all afternoon and...as if by magic...loadsa milk.

grrr...why am i allowing my negativity to stop me doing something i love??

she cluster feeds like crazy from 8ish in the evening. I def don't feel that i have enough for her at that time...am resorting to bottle at eleven.

sorry you're finding things so tough pregnabrain

firstly it sounds as though you are going through the mill, and trying to do the best you can for your LO

are you taking anything for the depression? i started taking sertraline when DD was born as this is one of the drugs most compatible with BFing. It made me feel better within a couple of weeks and things weren't so difficult after that.

with regard to your letdown, could it just be that the initial feelings you were getting at the start have calmed down a bit. It certainly sounds from what you have said that you have milk there.

It seems as if you already know that night feeds are very important for getting your supply off to a flying start, but if you are struggling to do nights, it is a bit of a catch 22 situation.

I would try and see a BFC if you want to carry on the BFing, as you need some RL help to get you through this, to give you advice on increasing your supply and dropping the bottle feeds and to reassure you that you are doing a great job.

If you want to stop though but want your DD to get as much benefit as possible, then carry on with the mixed feeding for as long as you possibly can.

i hope you can get some help with this soon

and the evening cluster feeds at this age are perfectly normal. It may feel like you have no milk there, but she will be getting it. My advice would be to keep offereing the breast as this is the only way you will get your supply up; and she is cluster feeding in order to help this herself.

Have you tried co-sleeping? I know it isn't for everyone, but if you are having sleep issues then it has been shown that, following a few simple rules, mums who co-sleep get better quantity and quality of sleep than those that don't.

I'd also recommend a babymoon. Take to your bed tomorrow, with DD (and Dh if he is about!). Be as naked as you can be, so baby gets lots of skin to skin and just let her feed and feed and feed. It is a lovely thing to do and will certainly help with any supply issues

info on cluster feeding

some info on herbs to increase your supply (galactogogues)

scroll down for links about milk supply issues

I hope those help

Hi - can I just say that if you need to do combined feeding, the advice that babies get confused is absolute garbage. I live in an inner city area and I was speaking to a Somolian lady who says that most somolian breast feeding women also supplement their feeding with formula quite successfully.

It's up to you how you feed your baby, and if you want to combine feed, just wanted to let you know that it works for some people.

Do what's right for you...

ilovemydog.....i think saying babies getting confused with mixed feeding is "absolute garbage" is a bit unfair and not really true tbh.

Mixed feeding works for some, but for others it is the beginning of the end and there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to support this. However, if it prolongs BFing then all to the good; but it can interfere with supply, especially in the early weeks before a woman's supply is fully established.

So sorry you are finding it so tough this time Lots of good advice here. I failed to bf last time with DD1 and understand the guilt of giving up and PND.
I came on here and was advised to co-sleep. I didn't feel I could but I actually do some of the night now. It makes feeds handleable. I never thought I would bf while sleeping, but if you don't already, try just getting LO into bed when feeding and once latched on close your eyes and relax. You might find you can sleep through the feeding. This will help supply and let down and your mood, as you will get more sleep. My PND was caused mostly by ehaustion through sleep deprivation.
Remember that this phase will pass. I also found that expressing in the morning after feeding meant my supply was better later in the day. I found that because I had more, it came out more quickly and with less effort from dd1 so she didn't fall asleep on it so quickly and took a better feed iyswim.
HTH

I have to say that I am also in the camp that says if you will feel better mentally by giving up and getting more sleep then stop.
I mix fed with top ups with dd1 but this resulted in decreased supply and ended up with me ff completely. If you want to carry on I would suggest expressing for a couple of nights in the wee hours so you get supply at that time, while DH feeds baby, then start feeding at that time, so she won't fuss and stress you out because your supply will have improved iyswim.
If you want to mix feed then choose feeds that will be bottles and feeds that will be bf and stick to them. If you chop and change your supply will drop at most feeds.

Look, I am not disputing that mixed feeling can affect supply, but this isn't the issue. She was told that the baby can get confused by a bottle vice breast. All I am saying is that some people who do mixed feeding don't find this to be the case - perhaps the term 'absolute garbage' was a bit harsh

But, if mixed feeding means that she is able to get some sleep for someone who has PND, then this is a good thing

I just don't think that she should feel guilty that her decision will confuse the baby....

i agree ilove....we do what we can to get through it...especially in the early days

I hope things are going better today pregnabrain

I agree wholeheartedly that you should do what makes you and your baby happy. I just had to point out that if she thinks she will feel guilty (as I did) for giving up bf it might make the PND worse, so I just wanted to give some support on that as well.