Bipolar: Anyone given up on CMHT and gone privately successfully?

[FebruarySnowStorms]

I’m too well for CMHT to prioritise me and GP won’t do it because I’m on lithium. So an emergency medication review carried out by interim consultant (as mine when off sick and then didn’t come back) back in January has only been partially completed. An administrative glitch for sure but now they’re refusing to complete the plan and given me an appointment in 5 weeks. The plan is in line with nice guidelines and the interim consultant is still in the building so it could just be sorted with an email. I lost it a bit yesterday and told the crisis team that they could stick their script because I was very clear it was just a job to them but this was my life. I told them that the best thing for my mental health is to never have to deal with CMHT ever again. The consultant in January was so great and thorough and good plan but he never followed it through. I keep falling for the rhetoric that they spout from the nice guidelines.

I have notable childhood trauma (not uncommon I know for people with bipolar) and the way the system gatekeeps really triggers me.

So hence the question. I know going privately isn’t ideal but the dismissal and lack of control is bringing back dark thoughts I last felt 15 years ago.

Didn’t want to leave this without a reply, because the situation is unbelievably shit at the moment for those of us with serious long-term mental illness.

Not mental health! Frankly, I don’t think anyone who isn’t mentally ill should be taking up NHS services when the provision is so poor.

I don’t know what to do either (have bipolar II and ADHD, on lamotrigine, clonidine and Elvanse). Long delays between appointments, very little continuity of provision, constantly worried I’m about to lose provision altogether. (GP would just mindlessly write out the same prescription forever, but menopause and ageing has meant that I’ve had to change things up over the last few years). I’m also thinking of going privately, but it’s so very expensive.

If you can afford it, I think it’s absolutely the right thing to do.

Thank you so much for your reply. I’m so sorry you’re in a similar situation.

It was a difficult night. I tried the Samaritans fo the first time. That was wildly underwhelming.

i was honest with my DH this morning and he tried the crisis team himself. He was appalled and said no wonder I had felt invalidated by them. We’ve agreed that we’ll look into private, I’m just so desperate. He is going to try the CMHT himself today (although I’ll think he’ll nowhere). He’s a vet so he knows how prescribing rules work. I do feel better for admitting the dark thoughts I’ve been having.

I really want to tell them to Fuck off but that will just leave me no access to the meds that will help. The asymmetrical power is crushing.

i hope you find a way forward. It’s has been lovely to briefly connect with someone who truly understands.

I’d forgotten I wrote yesterday’s message. My DH succeed where I had failed. My new doctor called me - he doesn’t agree with the plan made in January but will enact it till the planned meeting in 5 weeks when we can discuss alternatives. I wasn’t well enough to take it all in but he mentioned PTSD at some point so I think maybe he’s thinking that’s something to consider.
it’s such a cruel condition - I know I can’t trust my mind right now but the people who I need to trust have built no trust with me and forgot me. My DH has taken some time off work so I’m not alone for a bit. I think maybe exploring private options as a second string support may help me live with the fact I’m not escaping needing CMHT till I’m dust.

Op how are you now? I have bipolar too, it’s a cruel condition and the system is shocking. I can’t say I’ve tried the private route but it might be worth a shot. Whatever you’ve decided to do, I really hope you have some decent help now.

The Gp can't make changes to medication they are not experienced in and aren't licensed for. It's shit that the CMHT's are not providing the input they used to but it's not the GPS fault.

Thanks for your message. You’re right - it is cruel condition.

I have a new doctor. Seeing in a few week. He wants me to have blood test tomorrow (Thursday) but that got put in for Friday instead. I can’t do Friday - I did clear my diary for Thursday. Several phone calls and promises to call back later, still not sorted. My DH is going to try later. I know it’s only an admin thing but it makes me feel unsafe - especially as every time I call they assume it’s me that’s in error. I don’t know why their appointments can’t show on the NHS app like all the other hospital departments I’m under.

I am going to have the appointment (taking DH with me) and then decide. There is ultimately no good option here. So low today. Making sure I stay in town so I’m not home alone.