Struggling after being triggered

[NotQuiteUsual]

So I'm no contact with my mum for good reasons. My sister today asked me to make contact with her for her birthday. Its totally set my cptsd off. Lots of flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, going between feeling weepy and really angry.

I dont know what to do with myself. Ive tried all my usual coping techniques and they're not working. I seem calm enough on the outside but inside im in turmoil. I want to sleep, but it'll just be nightmares.

Anyone have any good coping techniques I can pinch? Or anyone who can just hold my hand and tell me its ok?

What techniques have you used? I find a very hot bath with the light off and a candle lit helps. It’s like a weird sort of sensory mix up thing. Sometimes white noise also on. It like blocks the thoughts out but makes me feel a physical presence of being there in the moment too with the heat. V hot.

Or can you be with someone? Or talk to them? Even if not about this.

A favourite box set? Mind numbing comedy or something?

Sorry if these are too basic- NHS 24 or the Samaritans are also available 24/7

Ive tried a hot dark bath, thats my go to technique and usually really helps. Im in hyperarousal and out my window of tolerance my therapist would say.

Ive talked to dh and im with him. Hes stopping me doing anything daft and will listen. I just dont want to talk about it again and again.

I might put on a box set. See if I can settle down. Crocheting usually helps but im getting too cross from it. I've tried to read but again I can't settle and want to lob the book across the room. God id love to smash a plate right now. But I can't because we accidentally broke two already and I can't get this set anymore. We already dont have enough plates!! Fuuuuuuck